Clandestine

thirty eight

-julia-

I don't know if my conversation with Diane went well or not. I can't decide. There were times when I felt like Diane was completely open to me and trusted me off and other times she sealed herself away.

But as I was leaving, she thanked me.

That has to mean she trusts me, right?

I don't blame her for not trusting me. After all, she's talked to my mother. I'm sure she's learned to take every person's words with doubt. What will she think if she finds out that I am Marcia Quintana's daughter?

She can't know. She'll never trust me.

I have to lie to her so that I can tell her the truth. I shake my head and keep walking. I don't know if will make it back to the boutique by five. If my chauffeur sees me outside of the store, he'll know that I wasn't there the whole time. I have no doubt that my mother instructed my chauffeur to report anything minorly suspicious.

I pick my pace up to a speed walk and focus on the directions. I lose myself in thought as I run through our conversation in my head. I regret half of the words I chose, but maybe I'm just overanalyzing myself.

Does Diane trust me. yet? She certainly seemed more relaxed than she did at the party. But maybe she's managed to get more of her emotions under control as she's recovering from her father's death.

I can't let go that she's far from trusting me. However, she let me have her phone number.

I realize I'm lost again and I have to backtrack. I've lost a lot of time. I pick my pace up to a fast jog. I manage to make it back to the boutique with a few minutes to spare. I don't see my chauffeur so I must have made it. I try to relax, but I can't release the chills still hugging my spine.

Now that the adrenaline is gone, my fear has plenty of space. My mother is going to find out about this. She's too smart and I'm too foolish to get away with this.

Not only will I be punished, but Diane probably will too, whether she realizes it or not.

My chauffeur pulls up and I walk outside. He says, "Did you not buy anything?"

"No."

"That has to be a first."

I shrug, "There was nothing there that I really want."

He watches me through the rearview mirror and then nods, "Good for you."

He drives away and I slowly relax into my seat. He didn't seem to be very suspicious of me. He won't be the one to tattle on me.

Now I just have to trust anyone else who may have seen me on the street.

Despite the fear still storming in my stomach, I allow myself a small smile.