Guy: You are ugly
You: Can I give you a gift? It's called a cup of shut the fuck up.
Guy: You are ugly and fat, you need to go on a diet.
You: Oh sorry, I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I should live it. Please continue while I take notes.
Guy: You're ugly and fat
You: Sorry I couldn't hear you over that voice in my head yelling BULLSHIT!
This next one has to be while you are eating...
Person: *insults you*
You: *Takes your empty cup* This is my cup of care. Oh, look it's empty!
Someone: *Insults you*
You: Well, I would love to make fun of you, but it would take all day for you to get it.
Bitchy Girl: You're ugly
You: Did they teach how to say that in beauty school?
Mean Girl: You're ugly
You: Bitch please, it looks like someone applied your make-up with a shotgun
Person: *insults you*
You: You must have a PhD to come up with something as stupid as that
Person: You're way too skinny
You: Well the auditions for Free Willy are that way. (point somewhere)
Person: You're fat
You: So let me guess... you do all of your clothes shopping at Baby Gap?
Person: You're ugly
You: Well I think you're pretty...(Pause) ... FUCKING UGLY
Girl: You're ugly
You: Maybe if you ate some of that make-up, you'd be pretty on the inside
Blonde Idiot: *Insults you*
You: God, good thing blonde hair isn't contagious.
YOU ARE READING
LMAO
RandomJokes, comebacks, riddles, roasts, videos, relatable posts, memes, and more!! Have fun laughing your ass off ;) - *currently going back through and editing some things lol. A solid half of this was written in 2014/2015 so the beginning may be cringe...
