Warning: If you get easily offended, leave this page. Also, ONLY use these insults as a comeback! Don't say these to someone for no reason. Enjoy!
FAT:
1. I wouldn't say you're fat but when you sit around the house, you sit around the house!
2. You're so fat when you went to school you sat next to everybody.
3. I wouldn't say you're fat but you have more chins than a Hong Kong telephone directory.
4. If hot air makes a balloon go up what's keeping you down?
5. What times lunch, and is there any left after you eat?
6. You could be in the movies- you could play crowd scenes all by yourself.
7. Is it alright if I sell you're underwear to the circus? I hear they need a new tent.
8. I wouldn't say you're fat but you have more pounds than the Bank of England, and I ain't talking about your wallet.
9. I wouldn't jump up and down, you could cause an earthquake.
10. I hear the local restaurant are serving all flavours of Slimfast.
11. If you went on a diet two undeveloped nations would have enough food to eat for a year.
12. Is that your stomach or did you swallow a beach ball?
13. You're so fat when you wear a raincoat people yell out taxi!
SKINNY:
You're so skinny, you probably wipe your ass with floss.
2. You're so skinny that if I were to put you on a flagpole, you would wave in the wind.
3. You're so skinny that you use Chapstick as deodorant.
4. You're so skinny, your mom actually enjoyed your birth!
5. I've seen more meat on a chicken than you
6. You're so skinny, you could be saved from drowning by being tossed a Cheerio.
7. You're so skinny, I bet you can dodge rain drops.
8. You're so skinny, you use a band-aid as a maxi-pad.
9. You're so skinny, when you wore yellow the other day, I thought you were a pencil!
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RandomJokes, comebacks, riddles, roasts, videos, relatable posts, memes, and more!! Have fun laughing your ass off ;) - *currently going back through and editing some things lol. A solid half of this was written in 2014/2015 so the beginning may be cringe...
