1. You must be the math man/woman: you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance.
2. Girl: It makes my heart smile when two ugly people fall in love
Friend: So who's the lucky guy?
3. Shrek called. He wants his face back.
4. Teacher: Where is your homework?
Me: At home
Teacher: What's it doing there?
Me: Obviously having more fun than I am
5. Are you from Europe? Because euro piece of shit!
6. Can I borrow your face? My butt's on vacation.
7. Ex: You bitch
Girl: I've been called worse
Ex: Sure. Like what?
Girl: Your girlfriend.
Ex: .....
8. I heard they were selling lives at Target. Maybe you should buy one?
9. Person: And what are you? 10?
Me: Yeah, out of 10!
10. Person: I'm still mad at you.
You: How can you hold a grudge if you can't hold a job?
11. Mirrors don't talk. Luckily for you, they don't laugh either.
12. I don't exactly hate you... but if you were on fire and I had water, I'd drink it.
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RandomJokes, comebacks, riddles, roasts, videos, relatable posts, memes, and more!! Have fun laughing your ass off ;) - *currently going back through and editing some things lol. A solid half of this was written in 2014/2015 so the beginning may be cringe...
