Sarcasm

Keyboards and Coffee

I can't even begin to tell you what has happened to me today. Ever since I got up late, and was even more late to work. Right up to my boss degrading me in front of the entire office. The email I received that states the tax collectors are missing only a dollars worth of my check that I sent and now I must pay a extra fee.

"Eve lets have some coffee," Sam said, his feminine voice making me stop pounding my face on the key board for a second to look up.

"Do I have to?" I gave my key board one last head-but, just for good measures.

"Girl you need to get up!" Sam pulled my rolling chair over off of my section of cubicle, "It's nice out we can even walk to the coffee shop."

"What coffee shop is even in walking distance?" My hope crumbling for the taste of coffee.

"Steamers is right down the street," Sam grabbed my jacket and pulled me over toward the elevator.

"What the bloody hell is a steamer?"

Sam pressed the down button for the elevator, "It's not a steamer, it is a hipster coffee shop."

"So you're trying to be hipster this week?" So that sums up the nerd glasses, dark grey skinny jeans, light blue button down shirt, black cardigan, and Oxfords.

"That and I've been stalking my latest prey," Sam pushed the ground button, so it lit up bright and orange.

"Oo who would that be?" I paused and reevaluated my question, "Wait why are you stalking someone, while you have a boyfriend?"

"Am I not allowed to look for other guys? Geez I'm not married," Sam put his hand on my arm.

I shot Sam an incredulous look, "Don't look at me like that. What else were you doing other than wallowing in your self pity? Oh that's right. Nothing."

I put on my best scowl, and walked slightly faster than Sam. Though his hand never left the crease of my arm, "You can't get rid of me that easily."

I sighed and slowed my pace. Eventually we filled our five minute walk with chatter about his boyfriend, who was going to meet us at the coffee shop.

Oo goody, I'm going to be third wheel.

"Here we are," Sam smiled opening up the see through door, that chimed.

"Wow," I looked around and saw the cozy coffee shop had a nice looking guy over behind the counter. The guy that Sam has been stalking, was making coffee at the speed of light, and I wasn't sure if he even was looking at what he was making.

Okay, that's cool.

"That's him," Sam squealed like a little girl, "The hipster guy."

I chuckled and then spotted Danny, Sam's current flavor of the month. Danny had the nerd look to him, but wasn't scrawny. He had some muscle to him, and let me tell you Danny and Sam are very attractive. That's the problem, I'm jealous of homosexuals because they all are very attractive. Very, very attractive.

"Woof," Sam's mouth full of lust, "Danny looks hot today."

I laughed and nodded my head in agreement. We made our way over to the table and Sam locked lips with Danny for a minute. Danny blushed and began talking through the kiss, "Sam please, you brought a guest."

"Oh her? Eve is in such a pissy mood," Sam sighed sitting next to Danny, "Now where is the waiter?"

I saw him before he saw me, and may I say damn. Sometimes it sucks being a girl, while Sam gets all the hot guys I get the not-so-attractive and rude guys. The waiter set down some glasses at a happy couple's table and asked them how everything was doing. Of course they wanted him gone so they could continue to flirt, so they gave a smile and said everything was great. Hipster-Guy-Waiter finally walked over and flipped his note pad, "My name is Louis, what can I get you?"