Slowly Healing (Sequel to Jerk Theory)

Chapter 29

Stone Cold - Demi Lovato
The Girl Who Cries Wolf - 5 Seconds of Summer
Hello - Adele

Super long chapter!

Alyssa's P.O.V.

"Come on Alyssa, let's have a girls night. You need it. I've told you this every week for a month, I'm not taking no anymore. You need to change your environment." Makenna says trying to convince me to hang out with her and the girls.

"I can't, you know damn well I have a daughter I can't just put being a mommy on hold. I have to be with her." I snap at her. She's being extremely irrational.

"You do realize Carter has a father right? Let Luke watch her. What's the worst that could happen?" MaKenna says.

In all reality I can't be reminded of him. Going back to that house brings back so many unwanted memories. I just started to forget about him, and how he hurt me. I don't want all of the work I've done to forget him to go to waste.

I know deep down I can never actually forget him, but I want to forget him as much as I can. I want to move on, but I can't. Anytime I try, I'm pulled back to him. It's as if I'm a puppet and he's the puppet master.

"Makenna-"

"I honestly don't give two shits about you have to say, every time you have a new excuse and I'm not taking an excuse this time. Unless someone in your family is sick and in the hospital you are coming whether you like it or not." She says to me.

"You know now that I think about Carter was feeling a little warm this morning. I really should stay home and make sure she's okay." I say frantically looking for a way to get out of this sleep over, even though I know my attempts won't help.

"Did you forget about Luke? You know, her father. He's never had any alone time with his daughter. Don't you think he like to be a parent for once while you go have fun?"  She asks, not really looking for an answer.

"Okay fine, but if I'm not having enjoying myself I'm allowed to bail at anytime." I say, rolling my eyes.

I begin packing while Makenna sits on my bed.

"So, what's it like? You know being a mom."

"Um.. It's different. When I look back at my life I always imagined I would be married before having a kid with the one person I love. Clearly that didn't happen. I mean I love Luke but in the brotherly way. He's always going to be the friend I had a kid with. There's no escaping it, so instead of dwelling on the mistakes and hating each other you always have to be able to hold a nice conversation that doesn't leave you wanted to stab yourself."

"Wow. I never thought of it like that, but you still didn't answer my question." She says cracking a smile.

"Right, it's difficult. I mean I can't act like a little girl anymore and that's all I've been doing since this whole Louis thing. I have to grow up, and I'm not allowed to act my age anymore." I say while folding up my last piece of clothing into a bag.

"I'm sorry," Makenna says with sympathy, getting up looking around my room. "You know it's been a while since I've been in here."

She continues looking while I leave the room to grab my toothbrush, toothpaste, and razor, so I can shave my legs tonight. When I walk back into the room I see Makenna looking through a box.