Slowly Healing (Sequel to Jerk Theory)

Prologue

*Alyssa's P.O.V.

"Alyssa, when are you coming home?" MaKenna says on the phone.

"I'm not sure why?" I reply, lying. I already know when I'm coming back. I'm actually free to go back now, but I'm not ready to be reminded of my past life.

"Louis, he really misses you. He's losing it, it's actually really scary. He'll think of you and get really frustrated and punch the wall or something." She says describing what the current situation at her house is.

"I'm sure that's not true."

"Stop the bullshit Alyssa, we all know he loves you. If you don't come home soon, I think he might actually give up."

"What makes you say that?" I ask curious as to why he'd actually do that.

"Because, he used to mope around all day that you were gone. He went from sadness to anger. I've seen this before, last time it happened was when Emma broke his heart."

"Kenna! Who the fuck are you talking to at 3:00 in the bloody morning!" I heard him yell. It made my heart flutter hearing his voice, but if he were to see me it wouldn't be the girl he's in love with.

"Alyssa, it's only one in the afternoon there."

"Alyssa? As in-"

"Yes Louis, she's on the phone now. Do you want to talk to her?" Please no. I don't think I can bare talking to him.

I hear shuffling on the other end of the phone, not sure if it's because Kenna is leaving or Louis has the phone.

"Alyssa?" I hear him speak in the phone.

"Um... hi," I reply. I'm not really sure what to say.

There is a long awkward silence. Neither one of us knowing what to say. It's worse then that time we broke up. At least during that time we were both holding onto this small hope of us being together again. This time, there's an eight hour time difference, and and ocean between us. Plus, we never actually broke up so we still are together in some sense.

It's like losing him, but I never did. I haven't talked to him in who knows how long. All I know is I stopped counting after three months. I finally moved on, and I feel like I'm hurting him.

"Do you know when you're coming back?" Yes. I do, I'm just not ready to go back.

"Uh... no, you'd have to ask my mom. Well my dad cause he likes you."

"You don't think I tried?" He questioned. "Baby, I've been asking them a while now. Your mom said you'd come home when you're ready. I need to know when you're coming home. They all told me you've been able to for two months now and you still aren't back." He says with his voice cracking.

Please this is already painful. Don't make it worse. "I'll be back soon, I'm just not sure when I'll be ready to leave."

"What's keeping you there anyways?!" He says raising his voice in frustration.

"I just... I can't go back yet. I have something's that I need to do here first, get things straightened out. Then I'm coming back."

"Can your boyfriend whom loves you dearly persuade you to come sooner?"

No. You're the reason I'm still here.

"Maybe. I'm not sure if you'd want me to come back sooner."

"Of course I would. I love you."

"Louis, I have to go my Uncle wants to see me for something. I've gotta go, tell everyone I miss them." I say lying about the Uncle part.

"Okay baby, I love you."

"Yeah. Okay bye" I say a little to quickly hanging up the phone. I look down at my hand and see the promise ring Louis gave me.

I've thought about taking it off, but a part of me is telling.me.to keep it. It would hurt him more if I did take it off. If it wasn't for the damn promise I made, and the constant reminder I would never go back.

I hear a knock on my door breaking me from my thoughts. I turn around and see that it's Grant. He's really been here for me these past few months. Like a brother, only my cousin.

"Hey, can I come in," He asks and I nod scooting over so he can sit on my bed with me. "Who was that on the phone?" I don't answer. I just look down at my hands playing with my thumbs.

"It was Louis wasn't it?" I nod, I really don't trust my voice. "Is this the first time you've talked to him the whole time?" I just nod again, and begin tearing up.

"I just can't go back, I don't want to explain everything that's happened to me. You know, you've witnessed it. I can't go back making everyone question where I was."

"Alyssa, I understand but you can't do this to them. They love you."

"Grant, don't you see I don't know what love is anymore?! I let my guard down one night! I can't trust love anymore. That's why I didn't say it back to Louis!" I cry. This is all true.

"Alyssa, it's been six months. You have to go back. You were supposed to go back two weeks ago. What's keeping you?"

***

*Louis' P.O.V.

When I got off the phone with Alyssa she didn't tell me she loved me. Was it over? Had she moved on? Is she really coming back?

The Alyssa I know would come back. She would've been back two weeks ago. I feel like I've lost her.

She could have had a lot on her mind and wasn't think of it.

What's keeping her from coming back?

I punch the wall in frustration. I can't do this, not now. I need to hold on to this last little bit of hope I have. I can't give up, when I give up that's when I'll know.

That's when I'll know that I lost her.

I haven't exactly been a saint since she left. I started using again, it was the only way to keep my mind off her.

I would wonder what she was doing. I would question what she was wearing. I wondered why she would talk to Kenna, and not me.

They both thought I knew nothing about their "late night phone calls".

If I didn't know any better I'd think they were dating.

"Lou, are you alright?" Kenna says cautiously walking towards me.

"I'm just fucking dandy, why?" I snap.

Being away from Alyssa this long is really affecting me. At least when we were broken up I could still see her, talk to her, hell I'd ever kiss her. But know it's been six months since she went away.

I haven't kissed her for six months. I haven't talked to her for six months. I haven't heard her laugh for six fucking months.

Do you know how hard it is for a guy like me?

Nobody's supposed to love me.

I'm not supposed to love anyone.

That's how I works.

Yet I still beat the odd because this one girl came and ruined my life. I'm not even sure about anything anymore. I haven't talked to her in ages, but she always finds time to talk to MaKenna.

A/N: No, I'm not ready to post the first chapter I just wanted to post a prologue to give you something. I'm actually have so much homework, plus I have to keep track of two online classes, and my seven school classes. I barely have time to breath these days So I apologize for slow updates.

But how have you guys been??

I've missed you guys.

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-Autumn <3