Slowly Healing (Sequel to Jerk Theory)

Chapter 20

Sweet Despair ~ Cher Lloyd
Scarecrow ~ Alex & Sierra
Wonderland ~ Taylor Swift
Pretend It's OK ~ Little Mix

*Alyssa's P.O.V.

"Alyssa you need to eat it's extremely unhealthy for the baby!" My mom scolds.

"Why do I care, this baby caused it! It's the baby's fault he left me. Mom, we promised each other to never give up on us. This hurts more than the time he cheated on me." I tell her, crying. My mom sighs, joining me on my bed.

"I'm only going to tell you this because it's been a week, and because I'm your mother. I don't care who's fault it is, you're still responsible for that baby's life. Whether you're ready to admit it or not, you're not a regular eighteen year old anymore, and you can't react to heart break the same way. You need to take care of yourself, or you'll end up blaming yourself about the baby not surviving. Remember when I told you, you needed to tell him before you lost him? Maybe next time you'll listen to me. He's just a boy Alyssa. He really isn't worth all this pain you're putting yourself through." She says to me.

"Mom if none of this would've happened. I would be wearing an engagement ring, instead of this stupid promise ring that's around my neck." I cry.

"Alyssa, he wasn't going to wait around forever for you to tell him."

"I understand that. I don't know why it had to hurt so much. My heart actually hurts."

"You really did love him huh?"

"Not just him, everything. The way he treated me, how he was scared of loosing me, how he looked at me, the way he styled his hair, how he'd rather hang out with me to watch a movie than going out with his friends. He was everything. My everything."

"I really messed up your relationship over something stupid didn't I?" She asks.

"Yeah, but I don't blame you. I'd do the same to prevent my little girl from having her heart broken too." I say rubbing my belly. "I'm just surprised that dad warmed up to him faster then you did."

"Yeah, your dad's always been the good cop hasn't he?" She says laughing, "Now I noticed that you touched your belly talking about a little girl. Do you know the gender yet?" I nod.

"It's a girl." I say smiling.

"There it is! There's the smile I haven't seen it in a long time."

"Mom." I roll my eyes.

"You know how earlier I was blaming the baby?" I ask and my mom nods. "I really didn't mean it, I don't want to be my birth mom. I only blamed her because I can't bring myself to blame myself when it's one hundred percent my fault."

"I understand, now please go eat something silly girl." My mom say pulling me out of my room.

*Louis' P.O.V.

Tonight is my first night out. I've tried finding ways of dealing with my anger, but nothing worked. Tonight the lads and I are all going to the bar for a few drinks.

"Louis, don't do anything stupid tonight." Liam pleads.

"You haven't gone through the same shit I have. I will do whatever the hell I want!" I snap at him. He puts his hands up in defense, unsure of what to say next.

"Looks like we have him back!" Harry chants, and I glair at him.

"Harry, can you please, for one day, not get on his case about falling for Alyssa. It's not his fault this happened." Niall say, smacking Harry on the side of the head.

"Look mate, we're not going to give you a drink limit until we think you've had enough. You of all people deserve to drink their sorrows away, but don't let us catch you trying to get laid tonight." Zayn explains. I nod only to get them off my case.

If I want to get laid tonight I just have to avoid the three of them. Harry would applaud me for it. Besides, I'm not letting these fucktards ruin my night. I'm looking for anything to get my mind off her.

"How about we stop badgering him, and let him enjoy his first night out as a single guy." Niall compromises. They hesitantly oblige.

"It's not my first night out single." I say not telling them about the day Alyssa broke up with me, when she came back. "It is however, the first night I can get drunk, and laid to temporarily forget everything."

"If you need something else, I'm sure Zayn could hook you up." One of the boys said.

"I'll keep that in mind." I say.

I never planned on getting high tonight, but who knows, I may need it. That is my last resort at this point, I was sober for eight months until the day I talked to Alyssa on the phone and she told me she didn't know what love was.

Everyone knows she bullshiting herself by saying that. Now we know the reason she was saying that is because there was something she was hiding from everyone.

"Can we stop talking, and just go in already. Sitting here isn't going to help me."

A/N: Louis' solo in Where Do Broken Hearts Go, broke my heart.

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-Autumn