Slowly Healing (Sequel to Jerk Theory)

Chapter 10

Fool's Gold ~ One Direction
How To Save a Life ~ The Fray

*Alyssa's P.O.V.
"Alright, so it's settled. We need a break away from each other, and the best way for that is there to not be an us, and see other people."

I can't take it anymore. Here Louis is going on about our future, and everything. It was beginning to stress me out. Stress isn't good for me, it causes me to do things like having drunken one night stands.

The apple really doesn't fall far from the tree.

You're just like your birth mother.

"No, babe you're kidding!" Louis says with a worried look. "We can get through this! We always have! You've had to put up with my shit, and now it's my turn. Alyssa, please let me be here for you!"

"I can't Louis, all this talk about our future was stressing me out! Who says we'll have a future together?! We were just stupid kids in high school, who says we won't meet someone new?

"Louis, you're 19, and I'm 18. We have so much life left to live, in all honesty we fell to fast. It's been too long!" I say.

I see the Louis face go from soft to cold in record time. It was almost like he was back to who he used to me.

Almost.

"I don't understand this! I let you in constantly, I told you things not even t h e boys know! Why can't you let me in? What are you afraid of?!

"We both know that you know you can trust me, so why won't you?! Even before you left, there was a part of your heart I was never allowed to enter!

"You never will give it up either! What I don't understand is why can't you just let me in?" He says bawling his fists.

He looks as if he needs to punch a wall.Every aching minute of this conversation just keeps getting worse for the two of us. The more I talk the angrier he gets at me, and the more this goes on the more I'm breaking.

I know that deep down I still do love him, but I can't admit it. The minute I do means there's no stopping us from picking up where we left off.

It's not that I didn't love how we left things, because I did. It's just.. Luke really fucked up my life.

In a way everything is Kenny's fault. If I never would've gone to that party and meet Luke, we wouldn't be here.

"Where wouldn't we be? Who's Kenny? And who's Luke?"

"What?" Shit.

"You said it was Kenny's fault and something about some Luke character."

Did I?

"Oh it's nothing." I say.

"See this is what I mean! You hide everything! Alyssa you will feel so much better if you just tell me."

"I don't have to tell you anything! I have rights to you know!" I yell, I do care who hears us at this moment. "We aren't dating anymore Louis." I say in a soft voice. By throat has begun hurting from all this arguing we have done.

I see Louis expressions change. His eyes turn dark, this is a side of Louis I haven't seen in about a year. His nostrils are flared, knuckles beginning to turn white, his breathing has picked up as well. He never has been good in situations that involved him showing emotion.

Before I'm finished observing his mood change he harshly pushes me up against the closest wall.

"I didn't fall in love to get my heart broken again! At least last time they were able to tell me the real reason! Even though she basically fell in love with my best friend! You know what congratulations, you're worse than Emma now!" He yells gripping onto my shoulders.

"Louis-"

"No, do you know what it feels like to love someone who doesn't love you back anymore?" He says with his grip getting tighter.

"Louis you're hurting me!" I whimper under his grip. He looks at his hands and it takes him a minute to process everything.

"I need to leave." He says and begins walking to the door. He quickly opens the door and you see five girl tumble through the door way as the door opens.

"Girls." He mumbles and walks past them.

I begin to rub my shoulders. I'm sure they're already starting to bruise.

"What do you girls want?" I ask not in the mood for anymore company.

"Well we heard Louis was staying in here, so we wanted to just come and say hi, but I guess it was bad timing?"

"It's nothing girls don't worry about it. Your brother and I just don't see eye to eye on some things."

"You broke up with him, after you guys had sex! How do you think he's feeling?" Lottie says defending him.

"Wow, thanks I feel the love." I say with sarcasm clear in my voice.

"You really do get it do you? He only told me this, but he was planning on proposing to you soon!"

*Louis' P.O.V.
Do you ever get everything you wish for, but have it backfire? The only thing I've wanted was Alyssa. Now that I finally had her, she had to break up with me. I reach into my jacket pocket and pull out a pack of cigarettes. I haven't light one up in while I think now is an appropriate moment.

I go to reach for my lighter, but remember it's in my car.

I walk to my car with my head down. I had to walk a little ways considering I parked on the other side of the of the parking lot.

It seems like days before I actually reach my parked car. I unlock the driver side and slip into the car. I open the glove compartment located in front of the passengers seat. I frantically flip through the papers, and napkins that are in here.

Something makes me stop. I pick it up and look at it.

It's a picture of Alyssa and I on her birthday. I didn't even know I had this.

I throw it in the back seat not wanting to be reminded of what used to be. All I want right now is my cigarette to take this pain away, at least until I can get home and drown myself in alcohol.

I can't seem to find my lighter there. I frantically look for it anywhere in this car. I'm stopped again when I come across a small black box.

Remind me to never leave this kind of stuff in my car.

I throw the box outside the car in frustration. It opens causing the ring to fall out of the box as well.

Why is all of this love stuff complicated? When two people fall in love aren't they supposed to fight for each other?

I know I'm new to this, but I know how it works. This isn't how it's supposed to work.

Alyssa and I are supposed to be together forever and have a family of our own. She's not supposed to shut me out when things get bad. She's supposed to rely on me to make her happy. That's what partners do, they help each other get through the dark, through their monsters. That's what she did to me, and without her I fear like I'm already slipping back.

The look in Alyssa face earlier was fear. She was scared of me. I don't even know what came over me, I just did the only thing I did when I didn't get my way. I never intended on hurting her. My girl, I hurt her, and will never forgive myself for it.

A/N: I missed Louis' violent self, so I brought it back for throwback Thursday? It's Friday. What do you guys think is going through Alyssa's mind? How about Lottie defending Louis? Fav part maybe?

So I was jamming out to FOUR while writing this. So... Uh, Act My Age??? That's an interesting song. Fool's Gold and No Control are by far my favs. I mean that song killed me.

I fear I'm catching a cold!

My phone cracked today :(

-Autumn <3