His Heart's Love (Book 3 in His Heart's Series)

Chapter 23

Andi

"Ands, what happened tonight..."

"I don't want to talk about it, Ethan," I interrupted him.

"I heard everything that you and Leo talked about... About music and..."

"For christ sake, Ethan!" I yelled in frustration. "Can't you let go of any damn thing? Stop trying to analyze me and my feelings."

"Andi, I just want to help... I just want..."

"I know. I know what you want. You want me to go back to being the love sick fool I was five years ago. You want us to be together. You want me to love you. You want to be the husband that I deserve," I said. "Did I miss anything?" I spat out.

He simply looked at me without saying a word.

"So what? Now you're speechless? You're the one who always wants to talk. So for crying out loud just fucking say something!" I demanded angrily.

"I love you," he said in a pain-filled voice.

"Saying that over and over again won't make me change my mind,"
I said ignoring the pain in his eyes.

"And you declining my love will never make me stop loving you or stop me from trying to win you back," he said in return. "I love you," he said again.

My heart stilled and restarted at his words and the passion behind his words and the way he said it.

"I won't let Andrews take you away from me."

"You have no say in who I want to be with."

"You don't love him. Not in the way a woman loves man."

"And who's to say I won't fall for him?" I asked and Ethan's face flared with anger.

"No! I'm still your husband, and you'll have to kill me first before he gets his hands on you!"

I glared at him. "I didn't stop you from seeing all those women, and I'd appreciate it if you bestow the same courtesy to me."

"I didn't fucking sleep with any of them!" He growled back.

"It doesn't matter!" I yelled back. "You had to have known that I would see those pictures! But did you care? Did you even think how I would feel?"

"Andi.."

"No! This is why I hate talking to you. This is why I hate discussing the past. It always leads to new wounds opening up. But since you're so hang up on trying to make me feel bad for your stupid pride and ego, then let me take you down a notch," I said in anger. "Seeing those pictures was like pouring acid down my throat. I wanted to rip my eyes out because after seeing you with countless women, everywhere I look, and every time I close my eyes, I kept seeing you with them. I kept imagining what you must be doing. And it fucking killed me. It was driving me insane! So don't you stand there and act like the almighty!"

"I'm s..."

"Don't! Just stop saying you're sorry! I told you that I want to know what it's like not to be in love with you, and if giving things with Leo a chance, is a way for me to move on and forget about you, then so be it! You can't stop me from doing this Ethan. You can't stop me from giving Leo a chance!"

"You really would? You would really do this?"

"Yes I would."

There was an awkward silence between us.

I sighed. "I see that you're trying. And I love seeing you with Faith, but you have to understand, Ethan... You destroyed me," I broke off in a sob. "I gave you everything I had, and you tossed it aside like it meant nothing, and I understand that you had your reasons. I get that, but I was your wife. We were supposed to be partners. You should have talked to me. But you didn't respect me enough to let me in, and tell me what's really going on in your head. You sacrificed everything for what?" I asked. "To keep your secret? To keep harbouring your guilt? Was it worth it?"