my life as well as theirs (poems)

my addiction

When I get

the feeling

this feeling

might be the

only one that

I get besides

sadness :(

loneliness

depression

then I see

my razor

this object can

make me forget

about my

pain and suffering

but it only helps

for the now.

I stop to think

it helps

then I see the

razor again

and my thinking

goes away

I just act

I take the

smooth blade

and just cut

my arms

my thighs

my wrist

the bottom of my feet

I end up remembering

everything that

happens to me

soI cut more

after a while

I have about 15-20

new cuts

I clean the blade

and the cuts

when I am done

I feel regret

I told my self

no matter what

I wouldn't cut

but something

always happens

and my depression

always gets worse

so instend of

cutting more

I walk out of

my room

and go around

my "family"

they dont

notice or care

so I go back

into my room and

start all over again

cutting seems

to be my drug

and it always will be