Promise me

"Cancer Joe! I have terminal cancer!" I shout with anger. I shrink back to myself to only realise what I had just done.

Joe looks at me blankly, as if he can't process what I've just said.

"Joe I'm sorry.. I just didn't know how to tell you and .. I just couldn't bring myself to cause yo-"

"Don't" he mutters.

"Joe it's the truth I'm sor-"

"I can't believe this- just you- and-!" He stumbles over his words then pounds his fist hitting the table, making me jump I can feel a lump in the back of my throat.

"I'm sorry Joe I never meant to hurt you"

"How long?" Joe asks.

"What?"

"How long do you have Jane?!" He shouts.

"6 months when I met you and know we've spent a few weeks together it's closer to 5-"

"I can't do this" Joe gets up grabs his jacket off the back of his chair and walks out the restaurant, everyone begun to stare at me so I followed walking out in tears. However when I walked out he was no where to be seen, therefore there was no way I could find him. I wanted to speak to him, but I guess it was better if he was calmer.
That was if he actually wanted to see me again, if he would ever forgive me. Even though I want to remain, friends or so with him, I know he would end up hurt but it was if I could no longer stop wanting to be around him. Or just I couldn't control my feelings.
The journey home was the longest of my life, I had never been so worried going home alone, simply because it was late and night but mainly because I thought I was going to sob in front of a crowded train.
Once I finally reached home I unlocked the front door, shutting it behind me I sigh. I walk into the kitchen for a note addressed to me be left on the kitchen side.
It read; Hi Jane, hope you had a lovely night, I'm just at your nans I'm staying the night as she wasn't very well I've put your leftovers from tea in the fridge incase you were hungry just warm it up I'll be back and tea time tomorrow as I'm leaving for work from here, love mum X.

Sarcastically I thought great, feeling like crap and I'm stuck on my own. Grabbing tea out the fridge I warm the lasagna up. I go upstairs and put my pyjamas up and eat my tea, since I didn't end up having a meal, by the time I had stopped feeling sorry for myself it was midnight so I decide to try and get some sleep.

I wake up to a knocking noise, surely no one would be knocking on the door at this time?
I go down stairs to look out the living room window to see it was raining, then the rain was followed by a thunder strike. Obviously that was the noise I heard it wasn't the door, I go to the porch just to double check. Then as I approach the door, I realise it was someone knocking. I open the door to see Joe stood in the rain soaking wet through. I was speechless.

"Joe what are you doing here it's 3 in the morning?"
Joe walks in, shutting the door behind him. He stood their facing me whilst I was in my pyjamas bottoms and a vest top.

"Jane I'm sorry, I understand what your going through and I shouldn't have walked out on you like that, it's tough for you and I guess it will be for me to let you go but I can't just stand back and not get the chance to love you and be there for you"

"Joe, that's sweet but are you sure that-"
"Yes I'm sure" he says, before cupping his hands around my face, his lips met mine. Suddenly things got more heated then they intended to do, Joe tosses the jacket he was wearing on to the floor and then kicks his shoes off. His hands move to my hips then to the back of my thighs. I jump wrapping my legs around his waist, Joe continues to carry me upstairs.

We reached my room, were Joe lies me down onto my bed and Joe then climbs over me. And starts kissing my neck, He breaks the kiss to sit up and talk.
"Is anyone home?" He asked.
"No but errmm I haven't really-" I stop of pure embarrassment, hoping he gets what I mean.
"Oh god I'm sorry it's just i thought, well, I thought you'd dated a few guys and-" I sit up crossed legged on the bed to talk to him.
" I have but I never, went that far," I said.
"I didn't mean it like-"
"No don't worry I know you didn't, it fine I promise, look Joe before I die I most likely will, and let's be real it will be with you if anyone, but I'm not ready not yet"
"That's fine, Jane it's up to you, I'm not going to push you even same as I wouldn't complain if you said yes straight away," Joe said.
"Thank you, hey just stay the night, and I won't make you sleep on the couch!"
I got back into bed and my back was against joes chest, his arms were snuggled around my waist pulling me closer to him. I started to talk to him as he stroked my arm with his thumb slowly moving it up and down.
"Joe if we are dating, or going to try to make this work I need to you to promise me something" I say turning to face him.

"Anything" he says.

"I know this won't be easy but promise me that we can try and finish my bucket list, and that when I die I'm with you, and that you won't grieve over me and whilst I'm going just hold me and say nothing. I don't need a speech. And try to move on and meet a girl that will treat you like gold. And maybe even have a few kids.
Don't live your life by me and try and do everything for me just because I have the sob story. What I'm trying to say is just be happy and that will keep me happy because I love you and Joe I know it's a lot. But this is I want, I want you to promise me this"

"I promise" Joe said quietly and then kissed me on my nose.

AUTHORS NOTE
Awww title included! Aww this update is Sunday's update early so I won't miss it whilst I'm away on holiday!