Promise me

Fear

Tomorrow I was supposed to be attending a date with Joe but I know it shouldn't have happened nor should we even be friends. All day I had emotionally been staring at my lists knowing he was a distraction. Today was Monday and I was walking home with Andy when she blurted out
"You look like someone's died" she laughs. I couldn't twist my mouth, or even try to.
"Wait no one has right?" Her face is now straight.
"No it's just this stupid list, I want it done and it ensures the last 6 months of my life are my best and I breaking the rules and it's just .. I feel like ripping my hair out because I like Joe and I can't bring myself to tell him because I know his little smirk is going to physically break and it will be all my fault" I say without even considering to breathe.
"Well you like him, but this list is sounding like it's more of a chore and a obsession it's making you seem crazy!"
I realised it did seem more of a chore, like I was forcing myself to live in a way that supposedly perfect yet now it wasn't as I had fell for Joe.
"Your right, but I can't ditch it I love the idea of achievement but it's too bossy"
"Look you wrote it! But ditch the rules have fun! If you like Joe date him but firstly tell him about the whole ... " she doesn't continue.

"I'll tell him, but I think we should remain as friends.." I begin.

"But you've ditched the rules why?! Oh my god just date the bloody boy!"

"So I can end the relationship with me dying?"
Andy doesn't reply, instead she changes the topic.
"Ok let's go!"
"What where?" I ask.
"You'll see" leaving me in wonder and a bunch of nerves.

We had been in the car for a good two hours which made me feel anxious to where Andy could be taking me.
"Andy, we have school tomorrow so we shouldn't really travel this far out" I say.
"We can miss the morning if needs must"
"WHAT?!" I say flabbergasted.
"For once in your life your allowed to ditch school epically since you work so hard!"
"Well .... I guess it wouldn't hurt to do it once but trust me it won't be becoming a regular habit but can we try to make it in we can ditch another day just not tomorrow it an alright day tomorrow"
"Fine" Andy sighs.
Andy's smile suddenly was bright enough to light a thousand houses.
"we've arrived." Andy says. Putting the car into break.
I look outside it had started getting dark, I look a head to see practically nothing but trees!
"Where the hell have you brought me??" I laugh.
"Just follow me" I follow her out of the car, then we begin walking, as swerve around and through trees. We arrive at a huge cliff over looking a massive lake. I hadn't realise how much we had walked up hill due to the limitation of light.
"Why we here?" I ask.
"Well I though if I'm going to make you into a dare devil, jumping off a cliff is pretty rebel I say..."
"Well tough look" I say pointing to the sign next to the lake we clearly said NO SWIMMING.
"Hey the whole point of having fun and being daring is breaking rules so you getting in first-"
"No this is freakin crazy the drop is practically the size of a 4 story building!" I panic.
"Ok we'll go together!" Andy says grabbing my hand, I couldn't believe this was happening, I wasn't sure if I wanted to do it or if I was just so excited I was allowing myself to have fun. Wait, was this even fun?
"1, 2, 3, NOW" Andy screamed pulling me along with her as she  enthusiastically pulled me with her off the edge. Air brushed against us, as feet first we plunged into the water. The cold crisp edge of the water engulfed me as I was complete covered in the river. As my mind processed what had happened I swim up to the surface.
"Oh my god, that was just, I can't, I'm speechless I could do that again I felt so" I couldn't speak. I had an adrenalin rush.
"Thank you Andy, I can't thank you enough, I'm lucky to have a best friend as yourself .. I'm gonna miss you" I say.
"Me too" Andy replies.
"We better get home so you can plan everything for tomorrow" Andy continues whilst trying to dry her drenched clothing.
"Ok" I say walking with my clothes sticking to me and my hair dripping.

The drive back was brilliant I couldn't get my smile of my face. I had never been a brave person but this proved to me a little confidence goes along way. So maybe I could tell Joe it would take a lot of me to do it, however I needed to.

Once we arrived home I snook into the house and put some dry pyjamas on, looking at the clock it was 1 AM and I had school tomorrow. A cheeky smirk wiped across my face, although I could tell Joe which would be a great conversation starter! I drifted off to sleep thinking about the date a head.

Buzzing I turned some music up on full, and started to pack for school I had everything crossed that school would fly by meaning I could see Joe. I was extremely nervous as I had planned on telling him everything, by that it includes my illness too maybe having a few feelings for the YouTube sensation. I know, I know what your thinking, is this wise? Both at once? But that's like terrible and fantastic news! I'd rather have it done and over with.

My timetable today was History, English, double Media, and double business studies. It was finally the last lesson of the day, and it was one of my favourites since I had always wanted to have my own shop. Seriously it would be awesome to have my own shop, you chose when you work and what you do, how much wage you have. It's ideal for someone who's shy.

Then the bell went I jumped up and ran home. Arriving home I flip my shoes off and dump my bag at the door. I start by curling my hair but I had decided to put half up and half down. Tonight I was wearing a simple and casual dress. It was just a black lose dress which I could easily move in however it had an open back to make sure it wasn't boring. I wore a black pair of pumps and brought a leather jacket with me in case it got cold. I only wear a nude lip and a small wing for eyeliner.
My mum arrives home and urges me to get in the car so we can arrive on time.
"Got your phone?"
"Yes" I reply.
"Keys?"
"Yes"
"How about money do you nee-" my mum starts but I don't allow her to finish.
"Mum I've got everything I'll text you when I need picking up.
"Ok ... Are you sure your just friends" my mum asks.
"Mum! Yes-"
"Well your dressed to impress there my dear!" She laughs making me go red faced.
"Well you know" I mumble.

After driving through traffic I get her to drop me on the street I was meeting Joe. We were eating at a restaurant, but I wasn't familiar with the name. As I walk down the street I see a figure, I knew it was him. I stop in my tracks to check what my phone's pinging was all about. It had been going off the whole time I was walking up the street. As I look through my notifications in shock my Twitter was blowing up.... Not in a good way.
A picture of Joe and I was every where it was from us at the event on the balcony kissing. With a caption of "future girlfriend?" Some of the comments had identified me as the girl Joe hangs out with. Moreover Joe and I had put photos of us together up before, this made me feel numb. I didn't know who had took it. I thought we were alone. What would happen if people from the hospital possibly saw this, his fans would know I was ill. Or if he found out off a source that I was ill before I could tell him. Or if I'm hated for causing him future pain if he becomes attached. I was in the limelight which cause all possible fear to make me shake. I turn back around a quickly walk away.

AUTHORS NOTE:
Double update as there was none last week due to a problem with my wattpad that I managed to fix the other day! Phew!