Promise me

Grateful

The day has passed slowly leaving me to check the time constantly. Splitting up sections of the day to get ready for tonight; this consisted of shower, hair, outfit and packing a bag. Unaware of what film we were going to watch I went for a jumpsuit matched with a denim jacket for comfort and some pumps. Why was my outfit to match a film chose? (you may be questioning yourself.) Imagining embarrassing scenarios in my head of if we watched a sad film I would cry and black tears of mascara would stain a possible white top or we would watch a horror film and I would jump out of my skin leaving my skirt to fly up revealing my thighs and upwards. None of them sound appealing to me. And this is why you should plan your outfit to the possible scenarios at the cinema... Just a little heads up.

I was practically ready and the clocks hands pointed to 5:30. I was to early to set off so I decided to look at my list only one of the many sentences with a tick beside it. Astonishingly I couldn't believe that it was nearly the end of the first month since I was told. Leaving me with 5 months ... 20 weeks. I really needed to start getting more crossed off. Like now.

Wondering about my future past the time leaving me to go catch my train. Once arriving at the platform I rehearsed how I was going to tell Joe there was one of two ways I could do this. Number one being tell him why he's a distraction and the truth about why I need, no longer want, the bucket list complete. Number two would be the easier option of making some excuse. Timidly option two sounded more appealing then having the back lash of attention from explaining I was terminally ill.

Away in a day dream I hadn't realised the train was right in front of me, a little red faced I jump on. Once I arrived in London I waited for Joe. He must have been just under two minutes, we talked whilst heading the cinema and discussed about films that were on.
"We could watch this one"
"Erm not the best with horror" he laughs.
"I would have thought you loved scary things! How the hell did you get through the last of us" I joke
"To be honest I'm quite the scary cat, I only like horror if it's a book or a game" I say.
"That's the exact same as me, I think it's because your not in control of a film you can shut it or pause it" 
"Totally" I reply. After our debate we manage to pick a action, yet comical, film. We grab a few snacks off the counter and buy them with our tickets and go, sitting towards the back the lights dim and the screen becomes brighter.

*2 hours later*

"That was amazing I've never been on the edge of my seat as much as that before!"
"I thought you were gonna tip the popcorn over you leant forward that much!" He jokes.
We walk back to the station as I'm about to head home he grabs my hand leaving me in shock.
"I'll drive you home you don't know who's out at this time I don't want you on a train in the dark with dodgy drunkens" he says without realising my hand.
"Joe I can't expect you to-"
"I insist" he says, I casually let go of his hand hoping not to make it awkward.
Once we had got to were his car was kept we get inside, fastening our seat belts we begin moving, choosing now I decide to have the conversation.
"Joe?"
" yes" he replied looking me straight in the eyes. God his eyes were something, focusing back on the point I carry on.
"I won't be able to see you as much"
"Why? Is something wrong?" He looks concerned.
"No not at all, don't laugh but I have a bucket list and I just recently want to get things done and I'm always busy so I've hardly completed anything" I say hoping I sounded some what believable.
"What makes you want to do it recently?" He asks.
"I've realised how short life as it flies by" I say swallowing the lump away what was in the back of my throat.
"It most definitely flies by" he
reasons. I felt like mumbling a response of ' you have no idea ' but I restrain.
"We could do them together"
"What?!" I question.
"I don't mind it would be fun" this was the best idea ever.
"That's great oh thank you" I hug him.
"Wow your grateful for the little things in life" he smiles.
"Well it's not that little" I laugh off.

AUTHORS NOTE
Normally I update with my dog sat on my lap. But she was rushed into the vets today and has been isolated on her own as she could be very ill. I've honestly never felt so strange without her this may sound silly but pets are the one companion that can't let you down they wait all day for you to come home. In our lives we have family, friends, siblings so on so Forth. They only have you! Right now she's on her own on a drip, I'm not saying this to be like "well this is why this chapter not my best" or "I need attention" just would like to say Cuddle whatever pet you've got right now. Because God I know mine have helps me through some of my darkest times.
God this got deep quick lol x