Chapter 2.4 - The Effect of His Death
We were at a funeral, there was a large crowd around the area. It was Stanley’s funeral. He had a large family and they were all grieving. This said, he seemed to be an amazing person.
“He was great, he had three charities supporting the LGBT community. He played football until he retired and turned to his job which was being the CEO of a clothing line. That’s where he met his wife.” he said, grabbing another cigarette inside his jacket, he lit it up. I felt so annoyed when people smoke but it seemed like I couldn’t smell anything. “Anyways, the effect of his death was pretty great. A lot of people grieved but no one killed themselves or anything. Life continues.”
“What’s the point of all of this?” I asked silently staring at the people.
“The point of all of this is that Stanley is like you, discriminated by the choices of your parents.” he said nonchalantly, my eyes snapped to his face, he looked down through his lashes and he sighed. “I know everything. So don’t act so surprised.”
“So what’s your point?” I asked again. He moved away from the funeral and started walking.
“I’m saying that he went through the same circumstances as you, although not quite as pitiful. But he remained at a path where life continues, to which you chose the opposite and killed yourself.” he waved his cigar in elaboration. He blew an O out of the smoke and put back the cigar between his teeth.
“And?” I asked, waiting for him to elaborate.
“Did you hit your head on something when you got here?” he asked, clearly irritated at my cluelessness. “I’m saying you could have chosen a path like his, seeking guidance and not ending your life for your own selfish reasons.”
“Selfish?! I was suffering!”
“So, how is this any better?” he asked, looking at me dead in the eyes. His cigar was on the pavement, the embers glowing duller by the second.
“How am I supposed to know this was worse than my life?!” I snapped.
“You’re not supposed to know.” he said. “Not until it’s too late.”
00:38:27
YOU ARE READING
Where We Stay
SpiritualWhere would you end up if you killed yourself? It isn't Hell, I'll tell you that. I don't know where it is exactly, but it's a place that makes me want to die all over again. Previously titled: My Reasons to Die (Spiritual #80)
