Hopeless - The sequel to Breathless. A Janoskians fanfic.

12. "No one has to know"

What the fuck, why was Benji here? I looked over at Skip, his facial expression matched mine. I leant back and fell off Jai's shoulders; I plummeted into the warm water and kicked my legs until I rose to the surface. I swam to the edge and climbed out of the pool, my whole body shook as the cold air hit me and I grabbed a towel from the side. I walked petrified towards Benji, Shay and Tabby's presence didn't bother be in the slightest anymore, I was almost happy to see them. I grabbed Benji's wrist and lead and pulled him into the Kitchen away from everyone else's view so we could talk privately. "Hey gorgeous" He cooed, pulling away my towel and wrapping his arms around my waist. I tried to push him off me but his grip was too tight, he pressed his lips forcefully onto mine and I struggled under his grasp. He smelt of alcohol and marijuana, all I could picture was Ryder, I felt sick. "Get off me Benji!" I snarled, but his grip just got tighter and he laughed.

His hands ran down my body, I stood frozen in fear as he kissed down my neck and tears began falling from my eyes. his fingers fumbled with the lace on my underwear as he proceeded to slip them down, I crossed my legs so they couldn't go any lower, but the material was thin and he just ripped them off me. "Isla, I suggest you cooperate, or everyone out there is going to know about your dirty little secret with Skip." he whispered threateningly into my ear. I didn't have a choice, I had to protect Skip. My stiff body loosened and I kissed him back, the taste of vodka and drugs swam into my mouth. I didn't want this to happen, I didn't want Benji around me anymore, but I couldn't get away from him. His hands stroked the insides of my thighs and my tears fell faster, I could hear everyone laughing and splashing around outside, I was desperate to escape. "Shut up!" Benji snarled as I whimpered, pinned against the fridge.

He grabbed my left hand and placed it on the button of his jeans, instructing me to undo them, my hands shook and I refused. His hand rose and pain soared through my cheek, for the second time today Benji had hit me. "Please Benji?" I cried, he grabbed both my wrists and pulled me slightly forward and then pushed me hard against the fridge, "A slut like you shouldn't refuse offers" he laughed and stroked my cheek sending shivers down my spine. Earlier I'd felt guilty about cheating on Benji, but now, I felt nothing but hatred towards him. He spat in my face and placed my hands on his crotch. He had removed his jeans himself and continued to rub my hand against his penis, through his thin, cotton boxers. I could feel him getting erect and I wanted to be sick, I wanted run away from everyone, but I couldn't, I was frozen in fear. I turned my face away from him and stared blankly at the pink walls, trying to clear my mind of what was happening, I felt a sharp pain soar through my body as Benji thrust himself inside of me and I sobbed, biting my lip to ease the pain.

"Please, don't do this?" I begged him, but he shushed me and stroked my hair, telling me it would be over soon, that everything was okay. I felt like my past was now my future. Benji was just like Ryder, apart from this time, I was being raped in my own house, the one place I was supposed to feel safe. I prayed that someone would save me, that someone would check on me but no one came. Skip knew what Benji was like and apparently so did Jai, so why didn't they come? I tried to scream for help but Benji covered my mouth over with his hand. Without my lip to bite, I had nothing to block out the pain or the memories, I thought about Skip, about the good memories we had together, about the Janoskians and about the day I'd met Sierra. I felt guilty thinking about happiness whilst I was being violated, I didn't want to tarnish my friend’s memories. Benji panted, and he pulled on my waist and thrust himself deeper inside of me, the pain was unbearable, but there was no way of me escaping his clutches.

A few minutes passed, Benji grunted, his body jolted and he gripped the back of my hair, pulling it viciously. I whimpered and he threw me to the floor, pulling up his boxer and jeans, doing up the zip. "No one has to know" he whispered and pulled me up, "do they Isla?" he questioned, spitting in my face. I'd never been more terrified in my life, he was worse than Ryder, he was an animal. I shook my head, unable to speak and grabbed my towel from the floor. I felt dirty and disgusting, nothing more than a piece of rubbish thrown to the ground. Benji smiled and walked back out into the garden, "Isla's just getting changed" he told the others when they questioned him. I ran upstairs and into my bathroom, vomit and tears poured from my body. Finally after throwing up several times I ran the shower and stepped into it, the water scolded my body, but the hotter is was, the better it would clean. I wanted the shame and disgust to clear from my body, I took a cloth and scrubbed my body hard. I could feel my skin pealing and blistering in the heat, but I couldn't stop now. Blood poured from my stomach and arms as I scrubbed harder and harder, the shower gel stung my wounds and I sunk into the shower base, unable to control my tears.