Hopeless - The sequel to Breathless. A Janoskians fanfic.

36. "It's not important."

Isla's POV -

The wind blew in my hair, the rain poured down on my Skin and I opened my eyes. Daniel lay peacefully next to me his fingers entwined with mine and his SnapBack resting gently on his head. I stroked the back of his hand with my thumb, a smile grew across his face and I lay still next to him, closing my eyes once more. Suddenly flashes appeared, girls were screaming, telling me to "stay away from my Daniel!" and then suddenly I was plunged into darkness, my head collided with the side of the rocks on the beach and then Ryder's face appeared next to Benji's. There was a loud pitched screech, hospital lights and a baby, a baby boy, my baby boy. But it wasn't the beautiful baby I'd hoped for, it had Benji's piercing eyes and pale lips. I could feel my body sweating, and I was tossing and turning. I shook violently and a hand grabbed me tightly, "Isla, Isla, wake up." came the sweet sound of Daniel's voice. I sat upright and prized my eyes open, my eyes were bloodshot, tears streamed down my face and my breathing was heavy. "Isla. What's wrong?" Daniel asked, pulling my body into his chest and wrapping his muscular arms around me. "I was having a dream, about our first date, and then..and then.." I couldn't get the words out, I couldn't admit to Daniel that I was scared, that I was still suffering.

"Baby, it's okay, I'm here. Nothing, nobody will hurt you now." he spoke softly into my ear, rocking me in his arms and stroking my hair. I knew he was just as scared as me, that he was worried for my safety, but was staying strong. "I love you Daniel." I whispered, curling into a ball and nestling my head into his bare chest. The heat from his body radiated and sunk deep into my skin, the smell of his coconut shampoo was comforting and he pressed his lips to my forehead, "I love you too baby, so much." he replied. Skip pulled away and leant over the side of the bed, reappearing seconds later with something hidden behind his back, "I bought you something." he said nervously and told me to close my eyes. I did as I was told and waited patiently, his hands stroked my arms and he pulled my hands out in front of me. A weight dropped onto the palm of my hand, "keep them closed!" he yelled as my eyes flinched and we both burst into laughter. I hadn't laughed in a long time, it felt good, but I felt guilty. I felt like I wasn't good enough to be happy.

Daniel's hands traced back up my arms, I felt him shuffle closer to me on the bed, the quilt crumpled up over my legs and Daniel's minty breath came closer to me. He kissed my cheek and made his way down my neck, "Daniel get off me!" I yelled, my eyes opened and I threw the box at Daniel without even thinking about my actions. I pushed Daniel away from me and wrapped my body in the quilt, lifting my legs up to my chest and sobbing uncontrollably. I didn't mean to snap at Daniel, I wanted to apologise and hold him tightly, but I was still fragile, I was still scared for anyone to touch me. When Daniel had kissed my neck all I could think about was Benji's alcoholic breath and the way he forced himself upon me. "Isla, I'm sorry, I didn't think. Baby please talk to me." I could hear Daniel pleading, but I stayed curled up, my hands found their way to my stomach and I hugged my unborn baby tightly, crying even harder. How could I tell Daniel I was pregnant, this was the last thing we needed after everything we had been through.

The room fell silent and I finally lifted my head from under the covers, Daniel sat by the window, his head resting in his hands and I could hear him crying lightly. "Skip..." I whispered, "I need to talk to you." I whispered, deciding that if I didn't tell him now, I never would. "Isla, I'm so sorry, please don't leave me." he cried, turning to face me. His eyes were puffy and he was holding the box I had thrown at him. "Skip, I didn't mean to, I just keep having flash backs, it'll take a while." I said, trying to make him feel better, it knew deep down it would take a while but I hoped it would be over soon. I was sick of all the horrible repeats in my dreams. "I should have been more considerate, I didn't think." he whispered, keeping his distance from me. I needed to get over this and quickly, I couldn't hurt Skip anymore than I already had. "what did you need to tell me?" he questioned my earlier statement, I'd almost forgotten about the lump growing in my stomach. I took a deep breath and was about to blurt out the news to Daniel when the door bell interrupted up me, I sighed in relief, "it's not important." I shrugged it off and climbed out of bed. My jumper slipped down my shoulder and I shoved it messily into my leggings, just managing to scrape my hair back into a messy bun.

I wasn't sure if I was saved by the bell or not, it was one excuse to put off telling Daniel I was 'expecting' a child that might not be his, but would I be able to find the strength to tell him again? "Isla?" Skip whispered as we got to the bottom of the stairs, I turned to face him and saw sadness in his eyes, "you know that I love you right? More than you will ever truly understand." He continued, "I just, I-I want you to be mine again, properly, no fuck ups, just us. Please be my girlfriend?" He asked nervously, still keeping his distance. Honestly, I'd forgotten that him and I weren't officially dating, "Daniel, of course I will you melon!" I laughed and hugged him tightly. He slowly wrapped his arms around me and we both leant in towards each other. Just as his lips brushed against mine the doorbell interrupted us again, I pecked his lips quickly, making both of us smile and finally answered the door. "Jesus Christ, how long?" Sierra laughed and invited herself inside, Luke following as always, "have you guys been fucking?" Luke winked and nudged Skip's arm. I laughed awkwardly and we walked into the front room.

Luke and Daniel decided football was a good thing to watch and began yelling at the television, "drinks?" I asked and motioned for Sierra to join me in the kitchen. "Coke floats?" Luke asked and I nodded and smiled before leaving the boys alone. I opened up the fridge and pulled out a bottle of coke and when I closed the door Sierra looked at me sternly, "have you told him yet?" She asked crossing her arms. I stared down at my still flat stomach, I knew it wouldn't be that much longer before I started to show, two months tops. "I was going to and then you rang the door. I don't know if I can Sar." I felt my eyes welling up again, scared. Sierra wrapped her arms around me and stroked my hair, "Isla, the sooner you do it, the better it'll be." She said comfortingly and deep down, I knew she was right. I nodded my head and laughed as she wiped my teary eyes. I poured four glasses of coke and topped them off with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. We took two glasses each and rejoined the boys, "so you're coming to James' tonight, right?" Asked Luke. Daniel looked at me for the answer, everyone was going to be drinking, apart from me, but it was unfair to everybody else if I didn't go. "Yeah, I guess." I answered, the boys high fived and began planning drinking games. I looked at Sierra and pouted. She laughed and reminded us that Ariana was here with Jai, suddenly I was excited about tonight and began outfit planning.