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three

When I arrived at Pearl's average sized apartment, my best friend was ecstatic. She dreamed of us living together all through out High School and I was happy to make that High School dream a reality.

"Ocean!", she squealed," do you wanna live with me?"

"Only if you let me", I said sarcastically and she pulled me into a hug. When she let me go she grabbed one of my bags and pulled them inside.

"You have no idea how excited I am. My spare room is full of all my extra clothes and shoes but I am so willing to empty it for you, Ocean and make it your room", she said willingly and I smiled. I was so grateful for a friend that would drop everything and do anything for me if I needed it. 

Pearl has been my best friend since middle school and somehow through out high school and both of us having amazing boyfriends we stayed friends. Everyone thought her and I would lose touch but we still just as active in each others lives as we were in school. We didn't talk or hang out as much but that happens to the best of friends. No matter where we were in our lives or what was wrong we reconnected like no time had passed. Both of us had dealt with a lot in the past month or so and it was almost as if the stars aligned to make us close again.

"Thank you so much, Pearl you have no idea how much I appreciate you", I told her before taking her into a long hug. 

There was something special about hugs for me that I had a hard time handling. If I was ever going through something I wanted to be hugged and feel the affection from another person but at the same time I didn't. Affection made me uncomfortable but it was also the one thing I completely needed to feel better. Also, if I'm on the verge of tears I know that the embrace of another person will bring me to my downfall. I was start bawl in their arms and I'll never want to leave because for once in their arms I'll feel totally safe.

So, in that moment where Pearl was hugging me , I broke down. The break up with Ben wasn't the worst thing that happened to me but losing something so consistent hurt a lot. I lived with him near our college to so for a moment I was pretty much homeless. It was good timing considering it is the middle of summer vacation but still it sucks. I brought all my things back to my parents house expecting to live there but with my older sister nagging me I couldn't stay. Then having to move into her house and be such an inconvenience to her life... it sucked. I felt so stupid for not having a place to call my own or make my own. I felt stupid for being emotional about my break up with Ben.

"Hey little raindrop", she said and i smiled at the childhood nickname she gave me," It's all gonna be okay I promise you. Its okay to cry right now but as soon as your feeling better you and I are going to go out and have some fun. My treat okay?"

I nodded and she smiled. She took my hand and guided me to the couch in her living room so I could be comfortable while I cried for the first time about the disaster that had become of my life. She sat next to me and rubbed my back, soothing me, while looking through her phone.

" I'm hiring a mover to take my stuff out of that room, I'm gonna call them and I'll be right back", she whispered and walked out of the room and outside of her apartment. I laid down on her black couches and looked up at the while ceiling. She was doing such a good job at being a friend to me. I had to think of something I could do to repay her for this.

I eventually got bored just staring at her wall and letting a few tears slide down my face. I hated crying a lot and wallowing in my sadness made me feel weak so I pulled my phone out of my pocket and scrolled through social media. I saw the typical posts from people I go to school with and distant family members posting about their kids. All of it was boring but oddly satisfying and calming to read. Facebook isn't my social media of choice but its a good distraction. The posts and the people I see there never change and I enjoy that consistency. 

Him: Well mystery girl... Today has been one hell of a day

Ocean: Tell me about it

Him: I cannot wait to get into my cozy warm bed and just forget today ever happened.

Ocean: What happened to you?

Him: I don't think you and I are close enough to really talk about it. 

Him: I dont even know your name

Ocean: Well I don't know yours either.

Him: Good point... What are you doing today?

Ocean: I think I'm going out for lunch with my bestie soon.

Him: bestie?

Him: BESTIE??!!!

Ocean: Whats wrong with that?? Shes my bestest  friend in the world!!!!!

Him: okay am I talking to a 12 year girl orr???

Ocean: Heeeyyyy... I'm 19 buddy.

Ocean: I'm in college buddy!!

Ocean: Are you 12??? 

Him: No I'm not...  buddy. 21 actually.

Ocean: Good to know. Maybe we can be besties!!

Him: I really wish... but I gotta get back to my personal hell so I gotta go

Ocean: Boo:( Talk to you later bestie:))

And the conversation ended there. Pearl came back into the room and sat next to me with a smile on her face. She was a happy girl and was usually smiling but she was currently smiling at the fact that I was smiling. she was happy for me and I loved that. I loved that I had a friend who was happy for me and never felt the need to be jealous of my accomplishments.

"What got you all smiling?", she said sitting next to me and playfully nudging my shoulder.

"I'll tell you later", I said taking her and guiding her outside. 

After talking to this random boy I felt a million times better for some odd reason. He was playful and charming and funny, which were three things my last relationship lacked and I loved in other people. He made me feel something and I knew it was stupid considering him and I would probably never meet but it was sure was nice to think about.