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fourteen

"You were right", I told Harry as the credits began to roll for the movie, " That was pretty creepy."

"And now whenever you on a road trip, in the middle of nowhere, you'll be thinking about The Hills Have Eyes and you'll never be able to use a random public restroom ever again."

"Oh thanks for that", I said sarcastically and we both began laughing.

"I'm feeling rather restless", Harry says as the end movie ends, going to the main title menu, he gets up from my bed and begins to stretch his legs.  We had taken a break during the middle to just talk about things. I loved that Harry was just so easy to talk to, there wasn't a lot of pressure to think or say the right thing or talk about the right thing. Harry knew about a lot of things and was open to discuss so many different things. 

"What are you thinking?"

"Thinkin' about you", he said and I began blushing, "I like spending time you. You are so simple and easy to be around. I appreciate you."

"Thank you", I said blushing and he sat back down on the bed placing his hand on my leg. 

"Wanna go for a drive?", he asked, "Then we come back watch something romantic."

I got up out of the bed and put my shoes and a hoodie on, it was still raining and I knew I would be freezing without one. I had no idea where Harry wanted to go and I didn't care. I didn't want to ask too many questions either. I just wanted to leave with him. Wherever he wanted to go, I would follow. 

When Harry and I left the room Pearl was on the couch watching MTV. She looked at the both of us and smiled, I smiled back. There was a slight tension between us. She was worried about me and I knew that. She was a great friend for that, but I wasn't going to let every person who was worried about me stop me from doing new things, meeting new people, and falling in love. 

"Where the love birds of to?", Pearl asked and I blushed. Harry seemed to react positively to her saying that because he took my hand and pulled me closer into his side.

"On a drive", I started.

"Wherever the road decides to take us on this lovely night", Harry added. Pearl smiled and I hoped she meant it. I wanted her to be excited for me. Harry picked up his keys from the kitchen counter and the two of us left. 

"She doesn't like me", Harry said as soon as the door shut behind us, " She really doesn't like me."

"I wouldn't say that", I started, I knew Pearl wasn't just going to hate someone right after meeting them. She was open minded and willing to give most people a chance. 

"She is just a concerned best friend is all", I started and Harry seemed to get quiet, as if her opinion really mattered to him when it shouldn't.

"I just got out of a relationship, you know that. She doesn't want me to get hurt again. I promise you its not personal."

He started to play music for our drive, a slow romantic type song playing on the radio. Whenever I was with Harry I felt like I was on cloud nine. He seemed to really be interested in me. He always wanted to know more about me, know what I was thinking, and be around me. He seemed to really care about what I had to say and about the people around him. It made me excited to have someone so interested in me. I just knew that I wanted to be with him but I felt like I was jumping the gun, I didn't want to move to fast.

And maybe everything I was thinking was just an impression. He might just act this way with everyone. If he doesn't really like me and I suggest being a relationship or really being serious that might push him away. If he just wants to be friends that is fine, I would rather be friends with him and not lose him than lose him altogether. 

"What do you want?", Harry asked, in a soft tone.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know, whenever I drive I think too much and I'm just thinking about you. Dating you, spending time with you. If your friend is so worried about you maybe you aren't ready for something like that, but who is your friend to make decisions for you. You seem like you are into me. I just might be reading this all wrong."

"She doesn't know anything", I said with a sigh, " I want something serious, especially with you. You make me feel away that no one has ever made me feel before. I'm just scared."

"Of me?"

"No never", I placed my hand on his thigh in an effort to comfort this thought, "I'm scared of jumping into you too soon, I'm scared of you not being as interested in me as I think you are. I am scared of losing myself to a relationship. I am scared of losing you as a friend if things don't work out."

"Understandable", he says then asks, " You aren't scared of me, promise. Because people talk, and people really seem to think they know me and all that I really am when they don't."

"Never, Harry. Nothing scares me about you. Let people talk, Harry. Let them say what they want to say, no matter what it doesn't define who you are to me. I want to learn who you are, from you, not from dozens of people who think they know you."  

The more I really learned about Harry the more I noticed how much he care about his impression on people. He cared what people thought of him and his reputation. He was aware of all the mistakes he had made, that a lot of people knew about them, and he didn't want them to define him.

 I wish he understood that none of it mattered. Harry was insecure and I hated to see that coming from him. He was beautiful, kind, and open minded. People made mistakes all through out their lives and his were no different. He didn't need to worry about if people loved him or hated him. None of it mattered and I hope I could make him believe that. He was more valuable than the words and rumors people put on to him.

And// Eden
Change// Lana Del Rey