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eleven

"Don't apoligize", I told him and the conversation started to die off at that moment, "If you want to go to the party too, its fine. You and I aren't exclusive anyway and I don't want to tie you down."

I sounded a little bitter at this point and I meant it in some ways. I was slightly jealous just thinking about him with other girls but I didn't want to come off too strong. I had this problem in the past where I had been too clingy, "too in love" , too let someone be there own person. I was too much for them to handle all at once and I could ruin a good thing with Harry by doing that.

"That's the thing though", he began, " I want to be exclusive with you, I just don't want to come on too strong. I was hoping that I could stay with you tonight."

"Of course you can."

"Good. I know it sounds weird but makes me feel a lot better if I can just sleep with someone."

"It's not weird at all", I responded with a smile and our food came out stopping the conversation right there. 

I felt comforted knowing that Harry was serious about whatever him and I could be. I was serious and so was he, but we both wanted to take it slow. I had no fear about him not liking me anymore, or finding someone else to be interested in. At some point my fear would be settling down into a serious relationship and that was a fear I wanted to have. It may have not been a healthy fear but Harry and I could tackle that together. I could learn what it is like to call someone my forever and be comfortable with the idea of a home and a future with them.

While we were eating, the conversation was light. No serious topics or secrets spilled. Just things about how our weeks had been going and how we were feeling today. He was even planning on what we could do tonight when he was over at my place. It was nice, there was nothing else to say about it. It was simple and I didn't need it or want it to be any other way with him.

"So what about you?", he asked, " I have all these issues with my dad and school, living the single life. What's your issue?"

"Classic case of daddy issues, I guess. My parents divorced when I was three and I haven't seen my dad since. My mom has always been really over protective of me, I think it's because I'm the youngest, but she also hates when I am in a relationship. My sister and I are both the kind of girls that love love and romance and our mom just wants us to appreciate womanhood."

He nodded and I decided to continue.

"Nothing is really affecting me at the moment though. I'm free, I'm working on hopefully going back to school, getting my life together. I'm happy."

"No one has a solid relationship with their parents, but you are happy. That's what matters, happiness surely does count for something." 

"It does", Harry and I were just looking at each other, he had a smile on his face and I had one too. There was a sense of comfort and understanding between us. He started to bring his face closer to mine, like he was going to kiss me but his phone began to ring. He pulled it from his pocket and rolled his eyes.

"Hey dad", he said answering his phone and walking from the table for a moment. It was the worst kind of moment to get a phone call, when there was so much tension and you just wanted to kiss someone. 

I watched him walking out of the cafe doors and into the rain. It was no longer pouring like it was when we first arrived but there was still a little dribble, the air was still cold and the smell of rain would linger long into the night. I could see his face from where I sat at the table and he seemed frustrated, he had his one arm crossed against his body and his eyebrows furrowed together. I wanted so badly to hear what was going on in their conversation. Him and I made eye contact at one point and smiled at me.

"Like I said, no one has a solid relationship with their parents", he said sighing and sitting down at the table. He ran his fingers through his hair, his sipped on his water then looked over at me.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"It's not worth it", he said then changed the subject immediately, "Are you done? We can leave whenever you are ready?"

"Yeah", he paid the bill that was waiting at our table, left a tip and the both of us walked to his car. The rain felt relaxing against my skin and I looked up at the grey clouds that were still lingering above us. Harry noticed I was watching and came and stood next to me. He placed his hand on the small of my back, pulling me closer to him. Now I was not just looking up at the clouds, but I was looking at him.

"You are beautiful, ya know that", he said grabbing my chin so that the two of us were making perfect eye contact and without any warning he kissed me. The second our lips touched it was like the sun was beaming down on us. I could no longer feel each raindrop touching each of my cheeks. His lips set me on fire and him and I were the only people in the world that could feel this kind of feeling. He pulled his lips from mine and just smiled before placing his lips on my forehead.

"Really, really beautiful. You need to know that."