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four

The conversation all the way to the place we had lunch was full of boy talk. Pearl had this boyfriend who was practically the nicest guy ever. They lived together and he was almost the perfect boyfriend. He always bought her things and paid her rent. He was really special to her and a special person in general. I wanted the best for them and I expected the both of them to get married but it didn't work out like that.

He ended up cheating on her and that killed me inside. They had such a good love for each other and they seemed to have such a special bond. I thought I had a bond like that with Ben but I never truly did. They had a love for each other that another two people could ever have. He may have been cheating on her and the love might have been fake all along but I would hate to think that. I loved the idea of them together and I didn't want the end of their relationship to taint that.

The last time I saw them together they really did love each other and that is the vision of them I wanted to keep in my head. If they could be like the way they were before I would support it, that's how much I loved them together. 

Pearl wasn't surprised that Ben and I ended and in a way that killed me. She suspecting something was off about him since the start and I should've listened to that. She thought he was a nice person and that he really did like me but she knew he was a fuck boy. She had expected him to lead me on from the start. It made me bitter that I hadn't listened to her advice. Ben was dating me, dating me for a long time may I add, while also talking to other girls, getting nudes from other girls and dating other girls.

Somehow we had both found cheaters at that same time.

"But fuck guys", she said sitting down in the booth at the restaurant and taking the menu from the male waiter. He smiled politely at her but I'm sure he was offended by her comment. most young guys got offended when girls said something like that.

"True", I said and read through the menu of delicious foods. I was a picky eater to say the least. I liked a lot of foods and I would eat whatever if I had to but if I got to choose it took forever. I had cravings often but they always went away fast and I never knew if I really wanted a food. I was indecisive about food and my likes but also about everything else in general.

I decided on Mac and Cheese when the waiter came around and took our orders. I instantly regretted the choice even though I knew I would like it. Pearl chose a simple salad as she usually did and our conversation began. We were able to talk to each other like we had never been apart and I loved that. The ease of our relationship always put me in a good mood.

"So, what made you all smiley earlier back at the house", she asked and I loved how she already referred to it as "the house" like it was ours and not "my place".

"Okay, Okay. I know this is stupid but just let me have this moment and let me do something a little stupid", I explained.

"Okay", she sounded wary of what she just agreed to but it didn't matter. No matter what he or anyone else said about this I was going to keep talking to him.

"I was at this club with my sister and she was trying to help me get over my break up, clearly didn't work. So, I went to the bathroom and there was this big long note and this phone number on the wall and"

"What did the note say?", she asked and I thought back to what it said. 

"Something like he isn't mean, but he isn't nice, but he will leave you. He will love you but he will always find someone to love more. He's beautiful and kind but filled with anger and detachment issues.", I said," And something about if you're looking for something meaningless just text him and he'll be there."

"And you texted him?"

"Yeah", I said shyly, " But he is really nice and I feel like that girl just wanted to get revenge because he is so nice to me and I don't know, but hes cool."

"I want to tell you don't talk to strangers and such but i feel like there is nothing wrong with this situation and I want you to learn from your mistakes so if this ends up breaking your heart, I'll be there", she said and I smiled. That was the best thing about having a friend like her, she validated all your feelings no matter what they were. She would let you sit in your bed and wallow in the pain but knew exactly when it was time to cheer up and force you to be better. It was perfect with her.

"But then, when I left the club I let this random guy give me a ride home and he was so cute", I said and she smiled.

"Cute but why the hell did you get in the car with a stranger, that is so stupid!", she said and then the waiter came with our food. 

"Thank you", the two of us said in unison. We both dove into our food and I ignored the almost lecture she was about to give me about getting into cars with strangers. I knew the dangers of getting in cars with strangers but it worked out. He didn't try and kidnap me so that was all that mattered.

"Hey I-", she said when the front door of the restaurant opened and a large group of boys walked into the room. I watched all of them looking and hoping that there just might be a cute one and there wasn't until the very last boy was let in.

It was the guy who drove me home from the club.

"Oh my god, that guy right there", I said ducking my head down so that maybe he wouldn't see or hear me," With the curly hair and the cute flannel. That's the guy who drove me home."

"Wow", she said and smiled, which was her way of agreeing that he was cute. 

The group of boys was placed at a giant booth near ours which made me nervous for countless reasons. one, they were obviously going to watch us as we ate. We all were around the same age and they could see that which would make them want to stare at us and judge us. I would do the same thing but it wasn't creepy when I did it. Second, boys just made me nervous in general. It was something that I had become accustomed to since I was younger. Whenever a boy would sit near me or talk to me I would tense up and get nervous.

Pearl and I eventually got back into normal conversation and I got comfortable again. She was telling me about how school had went for her before summer and what she had planned for this summer. She wanted to go travel somewhere but it would probably never happen, she had no money for it. We could travel together but we both agreed wasting money on traveling wouldn't be smart considering we were already broke college students. 

"Fancy seeing you here", a voice said and I looked up. 

The City// The 1975