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twenty one

It was Harry's dad and as we got to the hospital, I had to stop him from running. I knew how this hospital thing worked and if Harry was running around, panicking, and not following their rules they wouldn't let him see his father. Harry had cried the whole way there and I tried my best to calm him down. It worked only so much and I couldn't blame Harry for not accepting all of my help. It was his father and I could only imagine what he was feeling and thinking. 

The hospital staff guided us to his fathers room where Harry's sister was standing in front of the door.

"Sorry family only", she gave me a dirty look, bringing Harry in for a hug she began talking to him in a hushed tone before he turned back over to me.

"I'll be in this room for a while but I will keep in touch okay", he said and I nodded bringing him in for a hug, "Thank you."

"No problem", he placed a kiss on my lips, "I'll be here."

Him and his sister went into the room and I walked over to the waiting room. I wasn't going to invade on something that clearly wasn't my business but I wasn't going to just leave Harry. I couldn't leave him at a time like this. I wanted to be someone who constantly was around for him, if that meant sleeping in this waiting room chair for him, then I would do it for him. I knew it was the right thing to do for him and I could only hope he would do the same for me.

No one had gone into the room or left it. The chair I was in was facing the door and I couldn't help but wonder what was going on, how Harry was holding up.

To think that less than an hour ago Harry and I were dancing at his frat party and making out on the dance floor. I missed that moment, it was the first time I felt like Harry and I were publicly intimate. It was the first time I had been around any of his friends and I was eager to see this side of his life. I had fun around him today, getting to see his other life but it sucks that it had to be cut short especially for her. I was so worried for him, I always see him so stressed out and it broke my heart.

My thoughts were full of Harry and the worry I had for him. Eventually, those thoughts were pushed away as I thought about just all the time we spent together and I began to fall to sleep. The chair was uncomfortable but I was already tired, it was worth it. All the future pain I would feel from sleeping in this chair was worth it for him

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"Baby, you are still here?", Harry started to gently push my shoulder causing me to wake up, rubbing my eyes.

"Are you doing okay?", I asked and he smiled.

"Why didn't you go home?", Harry asked, "I would have came to your place as soon as I left to see you."

"I couldn't live you alone here. It would be wrong of me to leave when you need some support."

"You didn't have to do that", Harry said and then came in to kiss me, the most soft and gentle kiss. A kiss that held so much kindness and compassion. The kiss alone was enough to show how thankful he was that I stayed.

"I had to though. I could not live with myself if I just left you here. I know it is none of my business and not my family issue but you're my boy."

"You're my girl", he stood up from the chair next to me and I looked up at him and just smiled. I could tell that Harry had been crying. His eyes were bloodshot and his hair was a mess, like he had been running his hands through it. 

"Wanna come get some food with me?", he asked and I nodded, holding his hand as we walked through the hospital hallways and down to the cafeteria.

I hated hospitals. There was something so uneasy about them. I had felt that way for a while but I could never shake the anxiety that came with being in a hospital. All the bad memories I had in them stuck with me through my life and I could never shake the feeling of anxiety every time I was in one. The halls were always so blank and bare, but somewhere someone was dying. People's lives were changing and that broke my heart. People spent hours praying in hospitals for things that would never come true. The peaceful silence but the sadness behind it truly broke my heart. 

"So is everything okay?", I asked Harry. We had sat down at a table and began eating a salad. He had picked up a bowl of fruits for his sister that he planned to take back up to her.

"It was a scare", Harry was avoiding eye contact, " But the scare is just leading to bigger things."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I told you this was coming. I have been preparing for this for a long time."

"You shouldn't have to though and I'll always be sorry, I don't wish this on you and I'm worried about you."

"I can assure you I will be okay", he said looking up at me with a weak smile. It broke my heart because I know he wanted to be okay. He was going to be okay but I know his heart was breaking on the inside. He was losing on of his parents and as much as him and his father had an estranged relationship, he loved him. This was going to break Harry a little bit even if he was confident that it wouldn't. 

"You will be."

"Can you make me a promise, baby?"

"Depends", I said with a smile, "Probably."

"Don't leave me. My dad is on his death bed, I am going to be a mess, and I'm probably going to be an asshole sometimes. I'm sorry in advance but I just don't want you to leave me. I can't afford to lose you too."

"I promise."