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sixteen

Harry leaned over the middle console of his car and kissed me, grabbing both sides of my face pulling me closer to him. His lips were warm and moving quickly against mine. He knew exactly how to move his lips and to kiss me in a way that made me want more. I opened my mouth allowing our tongues to move against each other and I heard him let out a small sigh of relief.

 I wanted to move closer, be closer, do anything I could to make our bond closer but I knew better. His hands started to move down to my hips and I pushed away from the kiss. Stopping the both of us before we rushed into something weren't ready for.

"Thank you for listening Harry", I told him and he smiled, gently pecking me on the lips before buckling his seat belt. We began the drive back to Pearl's apartment, in a comfortable silence. The music and the rain being the only sound around us. This was the kind of moments in life I lived for. Closeness with someone I really loved.

I hadn't talked about my childhood or my parents with anyone in a really long time. I barely ever thought about my dad and the things that happened with my mom were the past. It really hurt me through out my teenage years and I felt trapped by what had happened. No one ever let me talk about it or get the help that I needed because of what had happened. 

Talking about it with Harry was something I felt like I really needed. It wasn't triggering, it didn't open up old wounds of the past but it was refreshing. He was someone who wasn't there when it happened. He didn't know either of my parents, he was biased to it all, and he listened. Even when I tried to talk to Heather about anything that had happened she pushed it to the side. Everyone seemed to want to forget about it, but I wanted to talk about it. 

This meant a lot to me.

"Welcome back", Pearl said still watching whatever was on MTV as the two of us walked back into the house. I went to the fridge and grabbed a water bottle, handing one to Harry. We weren't gone for that long but I had expected her to be asleep by now.

"Have fun?", she asked.

"Yes", I said with a smile on my face, I sat down next to her for a second and leaned my head on her shoulder, "Harry is the best driver I know."

"You weren't saying that when I was driving 15 under the speed limit."

"15 under?", Pearl exclaimed, " C'mon Grandpa, speed up."

We all laughed and I made sure to watch Harry's reaction to make sure he wasn't offended by the joke at all. It was just a light hearted joke but I knew how sensitive he really was. I stood back up and walked over to where Harry was. We still had plans on watching another movie and I was ready to snuggle up in my bed and fall asleep.

"In my defense it was really rainy and slippery", he said and we all laughed again. Pearl seemed a lot more interested and excited, not so worried about Harry. Harry and I then walked into my room, I took off my hoodie and got under the covers. Harry started the movie and I watched him as he took off his shoes and jacket, revealing the tattoos across his arms. I always forgot about how tattooed he really was underneath all his clothes.

"I like your tattoos", I said and he smiled, get as close to me as he could under the covers. He then pulled off his t-shirt to reveal his chest and stomach were covered in tattoos as well.

"I've got them all over," I said taking my fingers to the butterfly on his stomach, he flinched at the touch of my cold finger but got comfortable soon enough, " Got one on my thigh too."

"Ooohh", I said wiggling my eyebrows making him laugh.

"I could do this forever with you."

"What" , I asked.

"This", he said gesturing to the room, us laying together, the movie, " Anything. I feel like as long as I'm with you it's going to be alright. Anything is good as long as I'm with you. 

"I was thinking the same thing, Harry. Something about us just feels right."

It felt right to be doing nothing with him. To sit in a car and tell stories with him. To laugh and cry and watch movies with him. The little things had never felt so good with someone before. I didn't want to jump into this and I had to keep reminding myself that Harry and I weren't a thing. My mind kept getting caught up in the things I wanted to do and wanted to be with him. 

As the movie, started Harry and I got into positions that would be more comfortable for the both of us to sleep in. The Notebook was the perfect soundtrack for what was going on right now. There was this romantic, soft soundtrack to the movie and the romantic things happening between Noah and Allie. I loved this moment, things seemed almost too good to be true. 

As the movie went on I felt Harry begin to fall asleep and soon enough I followed his lead.

Dope// Lady Gaga
Familiar Ground// The Cinematic Ochestra
Flicker//Niall Horan