Blonde & Brunette

Chapter 20: What an insane life i'm living

Roxy's pov:

Thank god that the Max/Adrian's fiasco was over, i was soo surprised when i saw them beating each other up, but what made me so angry is the fact that they were fighting over Regina.

Someone goes by the name Roxanne Alderson is jealous.

Hell yes i am jealous, i mean, why the hell does everything has to revolve around her?

Well, why the hell do you always want everything to revolve around you?

I don't!

Yes, you do, if you like it or not, you're one hell of a selfish person, did it occur to your mind what Regina is feeling right now?

Regina? feeling? You've got to be shitting me, since when we put the name Regina and the word 'feelings' in the same sentence?

Okay, now you're sounding like a total bitch, jealously has completely blinded you.

Well, uh, i guess you're right, jealousy is a really bad thing.

After talking to Caleb for a while, well i was talking, he was daydreaming not paying me any attention, i know that he got a lot to think about, him and Christy's situation, it's so complicated. What he said about the rules is still ringing in my ears though.

"The rules are just complicating our lives, by putting them, we're provoking ourselves to break them because that's why rules are made for, to be broken."

A part of what he said is right, the rules are doing nothing but making our lives miserable, if the rules didn't exist, Caleb would be with Christy and, who knows, maybe i would be with Max?

What about Ron then?

Or Ron, i don't know, it's too complicated and i don't want to think about it, ever since i heard that song, and my whole mind is a mess, something inside me snapped, i feel like i want to be with Ron the whole time, but when i'm with him, i always think about Max, and when i'm with Max, i think about Ron. What's making it worst to me, is that all of this is going on with me and none of them knows.

Not saying that i want them to know, it's better this way, better for them, and painful for me. The thing is, i'm not sure about my feelings anymore.

Max said that Ron has a thing for me, but i'm not sure, and i know that Max likes Regina, after i saw them kissing in her room, the week we moved to her house, but i can't stop the way i'm feeling towards him, it's torturing me and i can't stop it.

It's all juggling in my head and i don't know what to do to stop thinking about everything. However the question i keep asking myself is 'what would it be like if there were no rules on the first place?'

Would Caleb and Christy end up together? Would Anona tell Adrian about her so obvious crush towards him? Would Ruby and Zach date? Would Ron tell me about his feelings, if he even has feelings for me? Would Max and Regina be together? Would Regina agrees on dating Max? Would Regina be dating anyone of the clique? Would i admit my feelings to Max? Would i admit my feelings to Ron? And there is a lot more questions.

Shaking my head, to clear my mind, i started looking for Regina or Adrian, because i'm going to get a lift with them since Max went home early. He asked me if i want to go home with him but i told him that i want to spend more time in the party, which wasn't a good idea, i'm not having fun at all.

After looking here and there, something caught my attention, it was a group of people making a circle around the dance floor while cheering and clapping. By curiosity i made my way towards them to see what's going on.