Fix You

12

Kiefer

How the hell is this suppose to help me?

That is something I think of every single day when I am in this tight room with this lady. Her whole being distracts me. Hindi ko alam kung bakit.

It's not the way she looks eh, siguro it's the way she talks to me.

She speaks to me like I am a stupid and a child. I'm not a grade 1 for heaven's sake.

She's always all, "Kiefer, you need to take some tests," "Kiefer, you seem so angry," "Kiefer, tell me how you feel."

And I'm always all, "Shut the fuck up!" Well hindi ko naman talaga sinasabi yon because she monitors my behavior. They would take Kierra if I won't behave well, so I better deal with it.

My therapist finally let me leave. Finally.

This whole therapy crap is just a waste of time. Everytime I leave there, I would feel three times as angry as when I went in. Mali yung epekto, diba?

But just like what ate Denise told me, "Ano ba naman yung isang oras na kukunin ng therapy mo sa maghapon mo? One hour lang yon, Kiefskie."

As soon as I was inside my car, I lit my e-cig and started driving.

I know smoking is bad, may it be a regular cigarette, vape, or e-cig. But this thing soothes me. Yes, it could kill me, but I could die any second and that is the harsh truth of life.

I may have to stop this, one way or another. But for now, just let me have this.

While I was driving pauwi sa condo, I let my mind wander.

My mind wandering though only led to one thing...

Mika

She is provoking the crap out of me. Her presence alone planted this fucking thing in my mind, let's call it a chip, that impaired me the ability to think of anything else but her at any given moment.

It controls me sometimes.

And if I could call it one thing, it would be explained in one simple word: annoying.

Hindi sa annoying sya because that is far from her traits. She is endearing and entertaining and just plain fucking cute.

What is annoying is the fact that I don't want the 'chip' she planted in my mind to go away.

Confusing right?

I sound stupid right?

I know. Only, Mika made me feel and act like this.

I find myself soon driving in front of the school where Kierra is studying and Mika is working. I may or may not have peeked around for her car and hope to just happen to drive by her or something.

That stupid chip is making me do crazy things, and now add stalking to my criminal record.

Nung narealize ko yung ginagawa ko, I went to the opposite direction, and headed back to the condo instead.

Nakauwi na naman si Kierra, that's what I last received from ate Denise.

Yeah, maybe some time with Kierra will put my head back on straight.