Words - [deaf!Louis] Larry Stylinson [AU]

IV

Words – IV

He had kissed him. Harry had actually kissed him! He couldn’t have thought of anyone better to give him his first kiss. Harry seemed sweet, caring, loveable and really protective. But Louis still wasn’t sure if he should fully let him into his life. Yes, he had kissed him and yes, he cared a lot about Harry, but he couldn’t just assume Harry wasn’t going to run out on him. Someone had done that years ago and since then, Louis found himself mostly unable to trust new people.

He had trusting issues and he was aware of that. In fact, he was okay with it too. The fewer people he trusted, the fewer people could hurt him. Sometimes he thought the world would be better off without him.

See, Lottie had been suspended once because she had started a fight with some girl who had insulted Louis. No matter how sweet he thought it was, he told her to never do it again because he wasn’t worth all the extra work. Which, must be said, he had helped her with.

His family wouldn’t be avoided as much as they were without him near.

The other boys, Niall, Liam and Zayn, would be able to find new friends without Louis being the burden in their group.

Harry would be able to find a nice girlfriend, no matter how much the thought of Harry being with someone else hurt.

Louis wasn’t even sure about his thoughts on Harry. He wasn’t sure whether he was in love or if his feelings for Harry were just a crush. He’d had crushes before, mostly on celebrities. But hey, everyone has a bit of a crush on Josh Hutcherson, right? That wasn’t just Louis. But he had never been in love before.

He had never felt his stomach flutter or blushed this much as he did with Harry. He forced his mind to return to the problem he was thinking about.

And Louis himself would be better off too. He wouldn’t be such a bother to everyone anymore and he would be much happier, knowing his friends and family could live a normal life again.

And he wasn’t afraid of dying.

Because, like a wise man once said, death is but the next great adventure. Right? It wasn’t something to be scared of. Not in Louis’ opinion.

He saw something move from the corner of his eye and when he turned around, he found Fizzy waving at him.

“You were a little zoned out there, Lou. Everything alright?”

Louis nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. Why are you here?” The last thing he needed right now was one of his sisters worrying about him and possibly his Mum too.

“Mum told me to tell you dinner’s ready”, Fizzy said, studying one of the photo frames on the shelf. “When did you take this? I don’t remember it.” The photo she meant was one of Louis and his two eldest sisters, Lottie and Fizzy. They all looked so happy, without any worries in the world.

“Last year, summer. I’ll be right there, yeah?”

“Alright”, and Fizzy left.

Louis’ phone buzzed just as he was about to get up and go downstairs.

                From: Haz –
I love you, don’t you ever forget that xxx

What was he supposed to reply? I love you too? But he wasn’t even sure of his feelings. He wasn’t even sure if he could actually trust Harry.

His phone buzzed again.

                From: Haz –
Don’t feel like you have to say it back. I’ll wait for you as long as I need to xxx