Boot Camp.

Don't

I felt my arms go numb around Lily's weeping form, hell, I think my brain stopped for a moment or two.

"H-How can you say that?" I finally stumbled.

"Why, James? Why did you have to fall for the one person who could never love you back?" Lily wept.

"I-I don't need you to love me back, all I need is the fact that you'll let me love you, that's all I need, it's all I can have," I whispered, a tear running down my cheek and onto the top of Lily's head.

"You don't deserve that, you deserve to be loved by someone you love, and that someone could never be me."

"Yes, it could be Lily! You said it yourself, you could easily beat them!"

"I wasn't lying, but the whole process is so much more complicated than that. All I was trying to do was get myself killed, so I wouldn't have to put up with this anymore. But then you did this, and I knew straight away I could never do that, because I finally knew how much you loved me, I could feel it, and I realised that I couldn't leave you like that, being able to see and talk to you without emotion is better than being dead, I didn't think it was before, I thought being dead, getting killed, was going to be the best moment of my miserable existence, I wanted it to happen as soon as possible, if I could've felt joy or anything like that I would've been jumping around, throwing myself into danger with the highest hope of getting murdered, but you screwed that up for me, you had to go and show me what love was, make me second guess all my opinions."

"That's not a bad thing, Kins."

"Not now, but what about when I go back to the way I was before? What'll that mean for you? For me? For us? I won't have anything to feel towards you, I can't go back to hating you, James, all I have waiting for me is more bloodshed, and if you even try and stay with me it'll be your future too. I'm not dooming another person to this, not now, not ever!" Lily cried.

"I'll find a way to set you free, Lily, I don't care how long it takes, I'll do it, whatever it takes."

"Don't! I'm a lost cause! I'll only drag you down. Go, find someone who you can love without endangering yourself, I won't care by the time we go back to Hogwarts, it'll just be me, myself and I again." Lily wept.

"No," I felt another tear run, "I'll never leave, I'll never go, I'll never stop loving you, Lily, do you understand me? I'll never stay away from you, I don't care if you can't feel anything, just let me stay near you, don't push me away, please," I whispered, squeezing my eyes shut.

"I'm sorry, James, but I can't stay, it'll only make things worse in the long run, I'll only kill you," Lily wept, dropping her arms and taking a step back before disappearing with only one last silent sob and one look with her glistening emerald orbs.

"... But what if I don't care?" I whispered into the emptiness of the cavern.

***

"There you are, Prongs! Where's Lilykins?" Sirius grinned as I appeared in the yard.

I shrugged and Sirius frowned.

"Prongs... Where's Lily?" he asked slowly.

"... She left."

"Oh, wait, you mean left left?"

"Yeah, we'll talk about this later, leave the spotlight on Frank."

"You sneaky bastards," Sirius cracked a weak grin and I shrugged again as we began to walk towards the house.

"You found him!" Remus cheered.

"Where's Lily?" Frank asked, still glowing.

"She wanted to visit her parents again, so I just came back here," I shrugged.

"Frank has something to tell you, Prongs," Remus grinned.

"Let me guess, you proposed to Alice?"

"... You and Lily were there weren't you? Hiding under the cloak."

I plastered a grin on my face and Frank chuckled.

"... You saw me freaking out about losing you both and you didn't say anything?" Sirius gaped at me.

I shrugged and he rolled his eyes.

"Where's Alice, then?" I asked Frank curiously.

"At her house with Laurie and some of her family friends," he replied.

I nodded and sat down on the stool next to Remus.

"Congratulations, mate, I know how much she means to you," I mustered up a grin and, surprisingly, Frank and Remus bought it.

"Thanks," Frank beamed, I could practically feel the joy and happiness radiating off of him and I was currently in no mood to be around such things.

"I'm still kind of tired from the party, I'll just be in my room if you need me," I muttered before I walked out of the room.

***

"Prongs?" I heard Remus' voice on the otherside of my door.

"Yes?" I called, my voice slightly muffled as I was lying on my stomach on my bed, my face in my pillows.

"What's up? And don't tell me nothing, because I know something is," he said firmly after he'd walked in and shut the door behind him, walking over to sit on my bed.

"Lily left me," I mumbled, trying not to let anymore tears go.

"What d'you mean?" Remus asked, confused.

"What I said, we were at her house, then at Hogsmeade, then we saw Frank, we followed them and watched as Frank proposed, then, I don't know, she just... broke and we left... after we got away from that she started going on about how she wished she could be able to feel if someone ever asked her to marry them, she called herself selfish because she said she wished it was someone else in her place and then... she just kept asking me how I could love her, why I 'threw my future away for her', she asked me why I set up my own demise, Moony... I didn't know how to respond to that, but when I did she just kept going, she asked my why I fell for the only person who could never love me back. I told her I didn't need her to, that if she let me love her it was all I would need, all I could have. She told me she was trying to get herself murdered, that if she could hope she would have been hoping for her death, she told me it would be the best moment of her life... she kept repeating that I'd get myself killed if I stayed near her, she told me that I should never have loved her, I told her I'd never stop..."