i am homesick
for a place that does not exist
i am homesick for a place
where i am happy, where i'm loved
where everyone doesn't fucking hate
me, i long for a feeling of internal
peace that feels like it will never come
i'm tired of crying on the bus in the
morning because i'm so fucking anxious
i'm sorry
and i can't even fucking iterate my feelings
without sounding fucking dumb or making a typo and i can't keep us this act anymore i can't keep acting like i'm okay and that i'm organized and that i'm happy because i'm not and i can't keep doing this i don't want to go to school i want to stay at home and cry i don't want to be me i don't want to be me i don't want to be me i don't want to be me and i have no idea what to do and i can't fix it this time i can't cover up with makeup or fucking jokes and now i'm stuck and i feel like killing myself but i won't talk and i won't eat and i won't do anything about it
