Your Lie in April (fanfic)

Episode 8: Realizations

~Shiori's POV~

fsshhh

the rain poured early in the morning. as if the weather has the same feeling as i have now.

i'm here in my room, awake already, still lying in my bed and i got eyes that are droopy right now. i turned at the clock and the time right now is 4:05 A.M.

my eyes started to get wet again. i try to shut and open my eyes again and again.. but all of this isn't a dream. and no matter hard i try to think that this is all just a dream, i'd wake up to reality.

i remember it ALL.

i cried silently and burried my face into my pillow.

i'm still me. i'm still Kaori.

how will i tell mom about this!? how did i forget myself and everyone?? years have passed and i didn't do anything... it just makes me frustrated i just can't help but cry. more importantly.. how will i face school tomorrow? how will i face Kousei?...

Kousei.. baka..

he.. he loved me? he fell in love with me? our feelings was mutual all along. my lips began to smile but tears won't stop running out of my eyes. i don't know if i am happy about what i discovered or if i'm sad because i just knew all about it 2 years after my operation.

i started to cry harder. but i know crying will never solve anything. so i sat up my bed, wiped my tears off my face and took my guitar. i knew different songs since i was Shiori back then. i strummed few chords on it and sang my heart out. ("Orange"-7!!------ 2nd ending song of SWKNU)

i sang the lyrics of the song. i need to look for another angle. i need to think of something.

i stopped playing and thought that i need to talk to mom about this. i just need a little bit more time.

i slept again regaining my strength i lost at crying. when i woke up.. my eyes are swollen. i turned and looked at the clock that's now 7:30 A.M.

i stood up from my bed and went to the kitchen where mom and dad is right now eating breakfast.

"m-mom?" i stammered. i saw mom and dad eating in the dining area.

"Goodmorning swee- Oh my God, what happened to your eyes? did you cry? did you have a nightmare?" mom left her pancakes and walked towards me.

"you fine hon?" dad asked.

"no.. no i'm not." i looked at them both.

"why did i forget?.." i whispered to myself. and then i continued.

"how did i forget?.. when did i forget? mom... i remember it all."

dad placed his mug of coffee and went to my mother's side. mom's crying.

"i.. i didn't want you to feel worse when you forgot about your friends. i decided to hypnotise you just to make sure that you're gonna be alright. you got an attack, you had amnesia and i panicked... many what ifs came into my head that i felt scared." mom explained

"so.. sorry. i'm so sorry." mom hugged me.

i understand now. all of these were because i got this freaking amnesia...

"mom, it's ok. all i needed was an explanation. i forgive you mom, you only did that to help me." i smiled and hugged her tighter. "but for now.. i'll just act like i'm still Shiori  at school ok?" she nodded and i suggested that we take our breakfast like we did back when i was 14.

i remember (of course) everything about myself and Shiori's memories. all i have to do is act like i'm still Shiori for the sake of those who know me as Shiori. and i don't want to expose that i'm Kaori.. not now knowing that Kousei already has a girlfriend.

Tsubaki-chan, huh.

it should've been me.

but what else can i do? i've been gone for 2 years knowing that i'm dead.

after breakfast i asked my parents if i could have a time off from everything and to just leave me at my room alone. they agreed and i went to my room. i looked around for my violin 2 years ago but all i saw was my guitar.

then i went to my mom outside my room and asked where she'd put it. she kept it in their closet for safe keeping.. in case i get my memories back she said.

i started to play it in my room. God, i miss my violin so much.. i wish Kousei was here to accompany me. i miss him.

no wonder as Shiori.. i was hurt when i saw them...kiss. i know it's only on the cheek, but still! i don't want to see it. the question is... how will i able to face him tomorrow? hmm.. i guess i'll leave it all to fate now.

*sighs* what a long morning for me it is.

.

.

.

.

.

~Watari's POV~

*walks around the school grounds..

huh. still the same facilities and classrooms. i kind of missed it here..

well, i better visit Kousei and Tsubaki and tell them

i'm back.