I Never Planned On You

4- Hide Your Feelings

So, I've decided that I cannot like Ben. I mean, it would be super stupid if I liked Ben. Right? What if we dated and then we broke up? That would be the most awkward thing I can think of. So, I am not going to have feelings for Ben. I am not allowed to have feelings for Ben. I won't let myself have feelings for him.
Plus, I've only known him for a few days! It is insane to have a crush on someone after a few days, isn't it? Ugh, boys are confusing. I just wish I could stop myself from liking him, because if I like him, things are going to get weird and complicated. What if he finds out that I have a very minor crush on him?
Will everything be different? Damn, I'm reading way too far into this. For all I know, I might not even like him! Maybe this is just my brain playing tricks on me! Hopefully it is, because I don't think I can handle unrequited love ever again.

I don't like Ben. I don't like Ben. I don't like Ben. I don't like Ben. I don't like Ben. I don't like Ben. I don't like Ben.

I say that I don't like Ben, yet here I am, freaking out because he asked me to hang out today and I have nothing to wear. When I say nothing, I mean nothing. Nothing that I own is suitable for the outside world- a.k.a sweats.
Maybe I can steal something from Melissa...She won't mind, right?

I grab a casual dress from her suitcase and bring it into the bathroom so I can put it on after my shower.

•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•

I'm standing in front of the mirror doing my makeup, when Melissa comes in.

"Hey, girlfriend!" She smiles at me before going to sit on her bed

"Hey! Where were you earlier?" I ask curiously. I hadn't seen her since I went to bed last night- when I woke up, she was already gone.

"Oh, I was having breakfast with Jeff."

"Jeff was up before 10 o' clock?" I ask. Even though I haven't been here long, I already know that Jeff likes his beauty sleep.

"Yeah," She laughs, "I was really surprised when he texted me at like 7 this morning asking if I wanted to get breakfast. I don't think I've ever spoken to him that early in the morning." She laughs, once again.

We're silent for a little bit while I finish my makeup.

"Hey, is that my dress?" She asks, eyeing the black shift dress I have on.

"Pfsh, Whaaat? No!" I cover.

She laughs a little, "It's fine, you should keep it!"

"What? Really?"

"Yeah! I mean, it looks better on you than it does on me, anyway."

"Okay, thanks, Mel!"

"No problem. So, what are you all dressed up for?" Melissa asks, standing up to come sit next to me.

"Okay, first of all, I'm hardly dressed up. Second of all, I think Ben and I are going to walk around the city or something, I don't really know."

"Oooh, fun. You excited?"

"I'm not excited, but we're probably getting food so that is a good thing." I laughed.

"Okay, well have fun! I'm going over to Chaz and Andrew's room because we have to leave for press soon." She said. I hadn't even noticed that she had changed into her blue newsies shirt and put her hair up.

"Okay, bye, girl!" I said as she left.

Now I guess I'm all alone until Ben is ready to go. He had texted me earlier saying something about leaving after her got ready. It was an hour ago. I swear, these boys take longer to get ready than I do.

Anyway, now I have a little time to myself, so I'll just turn on a movie.

•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•

I fell asleep about 20 minutes into 'Inside Out', but I was woken up by a lot of knocking on my door. I got up slowly before groggily saying, "Coming!"

I look through the peephole to see Ben standing there, looking at something on his phone. I open the door and he says, "Ugh, finally! I've been waiting here for an eternity!"

"Hey, I was waiting an hour and a half for you to get ready, so you can't really complain." I retort, still sleepy.

"Okay, I will forget about my having to wait, if you don't tell anybody it took me so long to get ready. It would totally ruin my bad boy image."

"Your bad boy image?" I laugh.

"Yeah, I'm a total bad boy." He smirks.

"Okay, let's just go." I say walking out of the room with Ben.