I Never Planned On You

44- Sing Happy

9:48 am

"She was really upset when we were talking last night. I just, I feel so bad. She deserves everything, and now half of her family is gone. It's not fair." I can hear Ben say through the thin walls.

"Is she going to keep doing Newsies? Her contract is ending next month and I can't imagine she would re-sign it." Josh chimes in.

"I don't know, we didn't talk about that." Ben says.

I turn around and quickly catch my reflection in the window. Wow, I look like I just got hit by a truck. I reach over for the glass of water Ben had left on the nightstand. I dip my fingers into the cup, running the water along my face. Flashbacks from last night come back:

I stumble and fall onto the hard sidewalk. I start to cry harder, why me? What did I do wrong? I feel so alone in this giant city, which I didn't know was possible. I feel the wind pick up, but it almost sounds like a voice is telling me to get back up, something my mom would say to me. I use everything in me and pick myself off the ground.

I only have the strength to walk for a few blocks. For that walk, it feels like I'm so small, so invisible. Just a teenaged girl sobbing her heart out on the sidewalk. The shadows cover the road. I'm so alone in the darkness.  I remember something my dad told me, 'Just remember, if you find yourself all alone and you don't feel right, you're not alone, I'm always right there beside you. No matter what. You'll never be alone, not as long as you're alive.'

Dad, I know I'm not alone, because you walk with me.

I snap out of my trance with a new-found energy.

"Hello, boys!" I say, bursting into the kitchen, nearly making them jump out of their skin.

"The sun is out, the birds are chirping, there's no reason not to be happy!" I push the curtains open, standing in front of the window, admiring the view.

"It's a beautiful day." I sigh happily.

"Are you all right?" Ben asks timidly.

"Never better!" I exclaim, throwing my arms into the air.

"Well, I'm glad you're feeling better?"

"I'm feeling amazing!" I look down at what I'm wearing and I gasp, "I will be back!" I say, running out the front door.

"Andrea! Where are-" is all I hear as the door closes behind me. I go to my hotel room, change, get my wallet, and catch a cab to Times Square.

The Forever 21 is PACKED, but that won't stop me from having a good time! The racks are filled with gorgeous dresses. I pick up a white, flowing sundress, checking out before I even try it on.

"Your total is 13.08" The cashier says in a dull voice.

I smile at her and hand over a 5 and a 10,"Keep the change!" I say, "God bless you!"

I burst out of the doors and stand on the sidewalk, staring up at the billboards. This is such a beautiful city! I walk happily back to the hotel, changing into my new dress once I get to my room. I fix my ponytail and smile contently in the bathroom mirror.
____