the heart wants what it wants

Forgivness

I woke up to the sight of Max right next to me. It kind of freaked me out a little bit because I hadn't realized he stayed in this room the hole night, just to comfort me. The thought that this is wrong crosses my head. I shouldn't have moved on this quickly. I shouldn't be with him right now because I just got out of a relationship. That I shouldn't be laying here with him right now. But I don't care, nothing happened between us last night, just me laying in his arms, with my long t-shirt on and my underwear and socks. Max is still asleep and probably so is Mark. I check my watch and see that it is 7:30 and I over slept. I quickly get out of bed and put my school uniform on. I don't bother leaving the room because I know Max is still asleep. I wake up Mark and hand him his clothes. Thank God our schools are right across from each other and they are just down the street. Max gets up and puts his uniform on. We head out the door and skip breakfast but Mark grabs a banana. I never have really been a breakfast person. I mainly just like lunch and dinner. Mark gets on my bike and Max gets on his and we ride off to school.

When we get to school I quickly drop off Mark across the street and then rush to my locker.

Cameron is waiting for me at my locker with a confident look on his face.

Me: "What?"

Cameron: "Hey I'm sorry about the way I acted and fired you from the shop. Truth is your not fired, I just got upset. Anyway I was wondering if there was a chance you could take me back."

Me: "I don't know, look Cameron..."

Just then Max came over and put his arm around my shoulder.

Max: "Hey babe. What's he doing here?"

Cameron: "Your're back with Max? You already moved on?!"

Me: "Look I'm sorry, but this is how I am. I don't weep over someone."

Cameron: "Your cried over James."

Me: "That was different, we were dating for 6 years, and had said I love you. Completely different."

Cameron: "You and I said I love you, that doesn't seem to matter now does it?"

Max: "Look man leave her alone. Just go away."

Cameron's face got read and hot. He didn't say a word. I know he was furious because that's the face he makes when he's angry. Cameron stomped away. Maybe he's right, maybe I did move on too fast. Or nah. Max took his arm off me and just walked away. Looking satisfied with himself. The bell rang and I headed off to my first class.

Lunch came finally and I was starving. Felicia hadn't been bothering me since that incident. I walked in and saw Cameron and Felicia kissing each other right in front of me. Cameron turned and looked at me with a smile.

Cameron: "You're not the only one who can move on quickly."

I know he was doing this just to spite me. Just to make me get jealous and want him back. But I don't, I don't want him back. I am happy where I am. I don't care if he's with Felicia but what really bothers me is that he is just doing it to make me jealous. And it was working.

After lunch the teacher lets us have recess even though we are in high school.

I see a ball roll by and grab it. I think of the game foursquare and ask if anybody wants to play. Foursquare is a game that me and my friends played back in Nebraska. I don't know if anybody else knows about it though.

Me: "Does anybody want to play foursquare?"

Max: "What's that?"

Annika signing: "Yeah?"