fond :: lrh

1.1

i'm so busy @ school someone pls kill me

•••

i haven't seen luke in almost a week.
all i know is that he's writing and recording songs for the band's new album, and i've never felt more alone

everytime he's writing, he isolates himself. i remember when he's 16, he was so deep into writing his song, he locks himself in his room, and i had to climb from his room window to see him. but then again, he doesn't want to see me, he needs space to write.
i admit, his songs are quite awesome, but isolating himself sounds more like torture than searching for nirvana.

there's a knock on the door. i get up from my bed and put on my pants (because who likes to wear pants in your own house... honestly.)

"ka–em! emily open up!"
i tie my hair and make a loose bun, then walking out of my room. when i open my room door, the front door open slightly, then revealing a tall boy

"oh, hi em"

"michael, you can't just barge into someone's home, it's rude you know."

"yea but you're like family to me so chill,"

i roll my eyes at his reply, as he plow down onto my couch. i walk to the kitchen and open the fridge, grabbing juice boxes.

"so, how are you?"

"meh." i sit next to michael and give him grape juice, as i drink my apple.

"why 'meh'?"

he scoots over and put his arm around me "i haven't seen luke in awhile. hope he's okay"

"aww little em is missing a boy, how cute. and the boy is luke!! i totally ship this"

"oh shut up. i miss him because i haven't seen nor talk to him in almost a week. and by the way, i'm muke as fuck"

michael pinches my cheek, whilst squishing his face onto mine "you're such a little kitty, you know that?"

"ugh, i regret fighting with calum that one time. why can't he be my best friend instead"

"because i'm better than calum."

"that's not true" i giggle

he then lift himself up and search for his phone. he opens a text, it's from luke
i see their convo, and from what i see, they last talked last night.

last. night.

is he not talking to me? why? what did i do?

"uhm, mike, why is luke not talking to me?"

his eyes shot up, his lips parted slightly then closes it immediately, he then continues to text luke an locks his phone.

"mikey. answer, now."

"what? i don't know. not everything that's happening in his life is my concern"

"fine."

the room then went silent. why is michael hiding the fact that luke is ignoring me? fuck you too then, mike.

i get up and walk to my room. i grab my jacket and shoes, and my phone. i walk out whilst putting on my shoes and jacket

"hey, where are you going?"

"somewhere. lock up the house when you leave okay, bye mike"

i close the door and got on my bike, heading towards the one place that i know where he will be.

•••

the wind is awfully strong today, making me shiver in response. the beach looks beautiful, the rocks are not visible, maybe because of the high tide lately.

i walk to the edge of the cliff, and ofcourse, luke's there.

he's wearing his black hoodie and his red snapback. he is hugging his legs, and he's sitting on his blue notebook.

don't know why i'm having the urge to hug him. ah, screw it.

i walk towards him and crouch behind him, then putting my arms around luke

"what the—"

he then relaxes and hugs my arms. "hi,"

"hi."

i sit and straddle luke's huge body. i feel his warm-ness already. i miss his smell, i miss his warm body, i miss how his clothes smells like sponge cake and flowers, i miss him.

yes, i admit, i miss luke hemmings.

"i'm sorry i didn't call, or even text" he says, softly

"it's okay." he turns around, now face to face with me. he looks like he haven't been sleeping, his eyes are as dark as his hoodie, his blue eyes seems darker than usual

"whoa, what happened?"

"couldn't sleep lately. got alot in my mind"

"do you want to share your thoughts?" please say yes. please say yes.

"no."

fuck.

"oh, okay. didn't mean to force you or anything"

he smiles and duck his head down "it's fine."

damn you, hemmings. why won't you just open your thick skull of yours and just talk to me? i'm your friend! why won't you open up? ugh.

"hey ems?"

i hum, answering him

he took a deep breath and closes his eyes, then opening them. his glare catches mine, his thumbs are fiddling, his feet are shuffling slightly, making frictions

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"i–i think i'm in love with you,"