fond :: lrh

2.1

"when will you be back?" i ask

"i won't be home until 10. so don't lock the bedroom door ok?"

i nod in response, "or, you could just sleep on the couch."

"you sleep on the couch." he says, whilst shoving me off

i giggle in response, as cal came down the stairs and joins us
"oy when are we going to go?"

"get the car out, you drive" says luke

cal shrugs then go out the door, bringing the car keys.

"promise that you'll be home at 10 sharp?"

"i promise." he smiles, then rises himself up off the couch. before he leaves, he kisses my cheek whilst holding my face with his hand.

wow

this feels... domestic. like, it's a usual thing. huh. maybe i can get use to this.

luke says goodbye, then followed by michael who's wiggling his eyebrows saying 'byee ems'

which, later then ash apologises for his behaviour, for not giving me and luke some alone time together. of course i don't need apologies, these boys are practically family to me. a big, messy, weirdly deformed family.

•••

i put on lukes shirt—which looks like a dress to me, and drop myself onto the bed, with my laptop and snacks out.

with all of the guys away, i have my free time, and in my free time, i'm going to binge watch every fucking movie that i love. of course, i will start with the subtle, and sweet, and gorgeous film of annie hall.

three movies and a half later, my phone buzzed,
it's luke.

"hey, whatsup?" i answered

"hi, ems sorry but i don't think we'll be home tonight, we're gonna pull an all-nighter."

"oh, well then, that's good because we haven't got any food in the fridge to make dinner anyways."

"are you okay? being alone, i mean."

"luke, i've lived by myself for two years now. how can i be afraid?"

"okay, okay. be careful, don't do anything stupid."

"how can i? you're taking all the stupid with you."

"don't be an ass. text me if you're going out or something happened, okay? i'll respond as fast as i could."

"yeah, dad"

"ew. bye, ems."

"bye, love you." then i hung up.

of course, it took me 30 seconds to realise what i've just said.

what the fuck is wrong with you em????
he's not your mum! why did you say that! ugh. thanks, mum, for calling me ever so often lately and made that 'i love you' thing before i hang up a habit now. shit.

well, i gotta do something to forget that.
maybe some food shopping will do.