11:11 -Cake Hoodings (discontinued)

19- Razors

The pic attached is Alisa, Michael's crush and soon-to-be girlfriend. (She's a game character okay deal with it)
Comment if you ship #Malisa :3

Also,

Trigger warning.

//LUKE'S POV

Calum had a shift right after school today, so I went home alone, again.

I've been really depressed lately, ever since Ethan confronted me last week concerning Calum.

Calum told me what Ethan talked to him about.

Ethan tried to convince Calum to join the football team(soccer), but Calum refused.
Ethan insisted, before finally confessing to Calum and begging Calum to go out with him. Calum flipped him off, and Ethan said that he can never join the team.

After that day where he tried to threaten me, Ethan left us alone(for now), but Calum's been busy with work.

Although just a part timer, Calum's been promoted to shift manager at the music store.

I feel happy for him, but I miss him alot, despite the fact that we live in the same damn house and we practically share every second in school because we all had the exact same classes.

It's just, I felt like we were being distant.

Coincidentally, the song playing on my phone right now was Distance by Jack & Jack.

I normally wasn't one to listen to hip hop/rap, but Jack & Jack's music was pretty good.

However, this wasn't helping.

It only made me more moody and depressed, and I felt like cutting again.

I've been almost a month clean, and I promised Calum never to cut again, making it a permanent streak.

But I don't know if I can last.

I unplugged my headphones and decided to take a shower.

It was already 7pm, and Calum wouldn't be back home till 9.

I had time.

I stripped down and stepped into the shower.

As the warm water relaxed my muscles, I began to cry.

Things didn't feel the same.

Calum doesn't seem to feel the same way about me anymore.

Maybe he doesn't love me anymore.

The thoughts came back.

My head became light, and I subconciously fell in the shower.

Cut

Cut

Cut

Cut

Cut

The words replayed in my mind.

I crouched into a corner, and held my knees to my body.

It became difficult to breathe, and those words didn't stop. (A/N anxiety attack right here)

Kill yourself.

Go to hell.

Die.

Cut.

I screamed at the top of my lungs, till my chest felt tight.

Some time passed, and I still stood there.