polarize ~ tyler joseph fanfiction

Fifteen

I lie in the hospital bed mentally tracing the lines in the ceiling. They were intricate designs, looping around here and there- probably to comfort a child.

"Nurse?" I croak, craning my head to see the middle aged woman at the fossil of a computer.

"Yes dear?"

"When is the soonest I can be released?" I ask, chipping at my fingernails. She turns to the screen, typing viciously.

"Tonight," she answers, spinning her chair around to face me. "Hun, something happened the other night, care to explain?" She asks, rubbing my elbow.

I look up at her, biting my lip. I just couldn't muster the strength to say it out loud, it was so painful.

"I-I can't say it. It was horrible." I choke out, trying to swallow the growing lump in my throat.

"You turned up in the clinic," she told me, crossing her legs. "I think it'd be best if you told what's happened to you." She advised me, nodding.

I look anywhere but her, searching for an escape.

"So what time can I leave?" I ask.

She sighs to herself, dropping her hand. She glances at the screen, skimming the small font.
"7:00." She informs me. "It is now 6:30."
"Thank you." I tell her, climbing out of my assigned bed. "I'll gather my things."

The phone chimes multiple times before I decide to answer it, I really don't feel the need to talk to Josh. He had managed to partially resist my somewhat honest apology.

"Hello?" I ask, my hands trembling at the fear of Josh's rarely cold voice. I've never been this terrified of Josh, let alone any man. Except, you know, Wires...

"The hospital notified me you're being released." He states, adding nothing onto his small sentence.

"Yes, I am. And?" I ask a bit cockily, raising an eyebrow even though Josh can't see. Considering how well we know each other, he'll probably be imagining my arched brow.

"And you're not staying any longer?" He questions me coldly, his words sharp like a razor.

Wouldn't you know the sharpness of a razor? A voice in the back of my head questions me, sending small tremors down my back. I shake my head and focus on Josh's rude question.

"I-I don't want to Josh." I inform him, my voice quivering.

"Wouldn't it be best for you? You won't tell anyone what happened, Olivia!" He nearly yells into the phone, the small piece of metal vibrating with his voice.

It never really occurred to me that Josh had a voice that wasn't quiet and nice. Growing up, I'd adapted to his generous voice and watery laugh but now that is gone.

I lift up my weary arm, scratching the base of my neck. "No Josh, we need to get on with the tour." I tell him quietly.

"'Livia," He sighs, the tiredness showing through his voice. "I want what's best for you."

"I'll be fine." I assure him, fumbling with the baby hairs on my neck. "Will you come pick me up? I have no money on me for a cab."

"Yeah, I'll be there in 10." And just like that, our 'intense' quarrel was over. Josh, the pushover.