polarize ~ tyler joseph fanfiction

Twenty Four

I was scared and furious at the same time, my body shaking in pure rage and fear of what could come.

I wanted Tyler so bad, more than anyone ever could. He was my teddy bear, I could cuddle him and pour my ever thought out to him.
I love his warm brown eyes, so thoughtful, so hurt, so bright, so dull. His emotions played in his eyes, like his irises were a telescope to his very core. After all, they do say eyes are the window to the soul. I can't imagine a world where we are just awkward acquaintances, trying to ignore what we once had. Cause he's all I have and he's all that I need and- I just can't be without him.

On the other hand, he is so frustrating! He never tells me what internal battles he is fighting. I don't blame him, I just can't stand to see him in so much pain. I really don't think I can be in a hidden relationship, for Pete's sake I couldn't kiss him in a booth!

The good probably out weighted the bad but I'll sleep on it. As long as I don't see him tonight, I might be able to make a rational, calculated decision.

I trudge up the stairs of the bus, letting my hair fall beside my face and shield me from whoever might be near. I hear a light cough, but keep walking.

My hair swings, giving me a quick moment to peak at who was there. Tyler. I turn my back to him, picking up my pace to the bunks. We leave in 30 minutes, and hopefully I'll be asleep by then.

"Hey, Oli, you gotta sec?" Josh asks, suddenly swinging around the corner.

"Not really..." I mutter, sliding past him into the bunks.

"What do you mean?" He asks, following near behind me.

"I need some time to think about things, Josh."
He blinks, slowly realizing I'm going through something. He nods, slowly walking out of the room.

I fall into my bed, letting my wrist limply lay off the bed and my feet to curl around each other. I sigh loudly, lazily closing the curtain.

Loud footsteps follow into the room and someone also loudly sighs.

"Idiot move..." Tyler's soft voice mutters. He must not know I'm in here as I hear a loud thud and a groan. Peaking through the curtain,

I see Tyler lying on the floor, his eyes barely open. His eyelids fall close and he grunts, rolling over and pushing himself off the ground. He pulls himself into his bunk, wiping his eyes.

At this moment I have the strongest urge to climb up to his bed and cradle him, saying I can conform to his every need, but I know I need to logically think this through.

I really do like Tyler, but not being able to like him in public gets to me, but I did sign up for this...

"Tyler?" I quietly ask, slipping off my bed. His head quickly rises from his place in his hands.

"You- you didn't see any of that did you?"

I smirk, coughing to hide my laughter. "Not at all!" He smiles the tiniest bit, silently urging me to continue on. "I know this will be hard for me but... I think we can try to date without being public."

His eyes widen and his mouth drops, wow he must've been happy.

"No- no!" He says loudly, causing me to gasp. His eyes waver right above my shoulder and I turn around slowly to see a shocked Josh, awe stricken.

"Oh lord." I say, slapping my face.

"DATING?!"