pics ; larry #Wattys2015 [completed] (editing because yikes)

xxxvii

My heart stops beating, and my chest tightens. I feel a knot tie itself in my stomach, and place a hand on my chest. "Niall- I-" I choke out.

He puts his hand on my shoulder, and looks at me with a sympathetically sad expression. "I'm so sorry, mate. I know this must be tough."

I feel tears well up in my eyes, and stagger back away from my mobile. "No! Niall, he's my soulmate! I need him! I can't live without him. Please, Niall. Help me get him back."

Niall winces at my tone, and shakes his head. "Har, you've got to get over him. He's made his decision. I mean, obviously the wrong one, but that's his choice. Don't push him any further away. Just wait it out, yeah? Maybe he'll come around."

I shake my head, trying to remain firm, but I know he's right. If I try going after Louis, I might alienate him more than I already have. But then again, if I leave him alone, he could forget me and his feelings for me. After a few seconds of inner turmoil, I sigh, and nod, wiping my cheeks. "What am I going to do, Ni? I love him so much, and I can't imagine feeling... right... without him with me. Am I making any sense at all?"

Niall nods, and leans his head on my shoulder. "I'm really sorry, Haz. I know how much he means to you. And think about it this way, if its bound to happen, it will happen. He'll come around, mate. If he loves you as much as you love him, you'll be together somehow. Yeah?"

I shrug. "Yeah, but what if it's not bound to happen? What is it's not our fate to be together? And what if he doesn't love me, like, at all? What if, this whole time, it was just a crush? Oh, fuck." I rest my head in my hands, and feel my breathing pick up. "Niall, what if he never loved me? What am I going to do without him? He's my other half. He's my everything... Niall, help."

Niall pulls me into a hug and rubs my back soothingly. "Shh, you're okay. You're havin' a panic attack. You'll be okay. Let's have you take a seat, yeah?" He pushes me down gently so I'm sitting at the breakfast bar, and he pours me a glass of water. 

I don't mean for it to happen. It just... does. He moans in surprise as I press my lips to his.