Thirty and a Half. Reality is a Bitch

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The song in the mediabox is Because of You by Kelly Clarkson. I had to add it bc it explains perfectly Aidan's state of mind 
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Aidan's POV

I slammed the classroom door shut behind me and walked down the hall. The anger I had felt consume me just moments ago after that verbal slap from her was waning with every step I took, and by the time I reached the exit the only feelings I was left with was guilt.

Mind consuming, heart wrenching guilt, and boy what fire lit hoops I wouldn't fucking jump through just to replace that with the anger again.

I pushed the heavy, black doors open and stepped out into the cool November breeze. I headed to the bike rack and leaned against the metal, pulling out my pack of cigarettes from my bag.

I shouldn't have said that to her. What the hell possessed me to say that to her? It was one thing for me to reject her publicly, but to throw her eating disorder in her face? That was probably the biggest jackass-like stunt I've pulled in my seventeen years on this Earth, and I've pulled a lot of jackass-like stunts, so that was saying something.

I turned over the almost empty box of cigarettes in my hands repeatedly, looking at it but not really seeing it. All I saw was that face.

Her face.

The face that was always happy and always had that heartbreaking smile on those pink lips. The face that was replaced with a look of utter devastation because of me.

Because I let my anger get the best of me.

Because I had been hit with very harsh and very true words.

She was right, of course. I was intentionally shutting her out. I had made the idiotic mistake of lowering my defenses to her. I slipped up, and my walls dropped in the back of that pick up truck because she had provided me with what felt like a sense of security. It blanketed me, warmed me, made me comfortable...and I had fallen into her.

She was too easy to fall into. Way too fucking easy, and it wasn't like I had much of a choice either. The moment I laid eyes on her I started to fall. It wasn't easy, but I could admit that. It's not like anyone could exactly blame me, she was gorgeous. Every single inch of her from top to bottom radiated beauty. It blew my mind that she truly didn't think she was beautiful. It was insanity at its finest.

I knew when I bumped into her that first day it was completely out my hands and into hers. She had me wrapped around her finger, whether I cared to admit it or not, the second she stared up at me with those striking green eyes. I knew in that instant that she was going to destroy me. So, logically, my first instinct was to stay the hell away from her. Easy enough, right?

Wrong.

That girl was way too damn persistent for her own good. It was like the ruder I was to her, the more she wanted to talk to me. Her feat to befriend me was pretty admirable, if you ask me. Most people ran in the opposite direction as they were scared of me, and then there was her. She ran towards me at full speed, and it caught me off guard.

Maybe that was why it didn't take long for me to give into her because of how surprising her advances were.

Maybe it was because the more she talked to me, the more beautiful and more intriguing I found her to be.

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