Abandoned, But Not Alone

14 - Escape

The months drug on. Days, weeks, trying to move on and trying to keep living without Sam. I never heard from Cas after that and he stopped answering when I prayed. Hannah was getting more and more upset. There wasn't a day that I didn't catch her crying. I felt like I was going to be crying right there with her at any moment. I was trying to cope and the only way to do that was to stay strong for Hannah.

"Dean." She hollered for me. I went into her room after I had tucked her in maybe ten minutes earlier.

"Yeah?" I asked as I entered.

"What if Sam never gets out? What if he never comes back. It's been 5 months." She asked. I had to admit I t was a valid question.

"It's hard to get out. I barely made it out in 4 months. It might take him longer. Just keep hoping he'll come back. Don't give up on him." It was all I could think to tell her. She nodded. I had told her at some point that I went to hell too so she would be prepared for Sam to seem different. "I don't know what we'll do if he doesn't come back, but we can't think that way. We've gotta stay strong." She nodded again then turned over onto her side. "It's ok, kiddo. I love you."

"Love you too." She mumbled. I let her be since I knew she'd be out in a matter of minutes. I was just sitting up at one of the tables drinking when there was a knock at the door to the bunker. I pulled my gun from my coat pocket and crept up the stairs to the door. I looked through the peephole and it was Sam. I opened the door slowly. He looked destroyed. Not physically, but mentally. It was pouring so he was drenched and it was dark seeing as it was almost midnight, but I could still see him.

"Hey, Dean." He said as he slightly started to head inside. I gave him a stern look. "Sorry. Go ahead and check." He said holding out his hand. I made a small cut with the silver knife I had on me and splashed him with some holy water. He was definitely Sam. I opened the door and let him in. In the light of the bunker, he looked worse than I thought. His face was heavily bruised still and he looked mentally messed up. He was shivering from the rain and cool air that the bunker's AC provided.

I got him a blanket from the couch. I gave him a quick hug and wasn't even embarrassed when I felt the tears brimming in my eyes once more. He joined me at one of the tables. "How'd you get out? Hannah was just crying her eyes out to me because she was scared you'd never come back." I asked.

"Cas did something. I don't know all of what happened. I just know he got me out. How's Hannah holding up?" He inquired.

"Not great. I've been helping her as much as I can, but she's cried every day since you were killed." I replied.

"How long have I been gone?" He asked, fearing the worst.

"About 5 months." I replied softly. He nodded sadly.

"Is she asleep? I was gonna go see her." He asked calmly.

"She's asleep but you can wake her up. Can I say something first?" I asked. He nodded. "I'm sorry. I know better than anyone what hell is like. I never should have put you through that. I knowingly sent you off to get tortured and didn't think twice. You told me to go ahead and do it, but I shouldn't have. I was selfish and I never should have done that to you. That was the worst thing I've ever done. I'm sorry, Sammy. I don't deserve it, but forgive me, please." I begged. I never asked him for forgiveness for stuff because it was too much of a chick flick moment for me, but this was an exception.

"Dean, I'm not mad. I was prepared. I told you to do it. I wanted you to save Hannah. I knew I was getting tortured, but I didn't care because you and Hannah were safe. Don't be sorry, Dean. It's ok. If you need to hear it, I forgive you." He replied. He had a different tone to his voice, and it was starting to worry me. He really couldn't have been ok. He sounded empty.

"I'm gonna go talk to her." I nodded.

"She started to blame herself too, just warning you." I added.

"Ok." He replied then left to go see Hannah.

~Sam's POV~

I walked in and she was asleep. I shook her gently. "Go away, Dean." She said groggily.

"I'm not Dean. It's me." I stated. She sounded so depressed and sad.

"It's just a dream." She muttered. I shook her harder. This time she rolled over and opened he eyes, staring me in the face. She sat up in a flash. "Sammy!!!!" She hollered. "I thought you were-" she started.

"Dead?" She nodded. "I was, but Cas got me back. I'm ok now. I'm back." I explained. She got up and hugged me around my legs since that was as high as she could reach. I picked her up. She hugged me tighter than I've ever felt anyone hug. I missed those hugs and her cute little smile.

She let some tears loose as I held her. "Sammy, I-I missed you and I-I don't want you to-to go away." She said through the tears. Tears began falling from my face too. I can't believe I had been gone from her so long.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here. Shh. Shh." I replied as I rubbed her back lightly.

"Why did you tell Dean to choose me over you? You're his brother. He should have picked you. I've been so upset and you've been gone for so long." She asked, genuinely wondering.

"Because we love you. This was the only way to keep you safe. I was happy to do this to keep you alive and safe. It sucked for me, but it's not your fault and it's not Dean's. I chose this and told Dean to do this." I replied. She just nodded.

"I'm glad you're ok, Sammy." She said as calmly as she could. I set her back down.

"I know you want to stay up for a while with me, but you really need to sleep." She let out a yawn and climbed back in bed. I tucked her back in. "Goodnight Hannah." I said before leaving the room.