Abandoned, But Not Alone

21 - Exhausted

I pulled out my phone and called Cas.

"Hello?" He asked.

"Cas, come outside. I need you to heal Dean and he can't really walk to get inside." Suddenly he appeared next to the car. He placed his hand on Dean's head and in a flash he was healed.

"Thanks, Cas." Dean stated. Cas nodded. "So, where's this lady's office?"

"She said she's with child services downtown." Cas answered.

"Ok let's go." Dean suggested. We sped down the roads to the lady's office. We walked in and after a 15 minute wait, were led back to her office.

"I don't understand." I spoke up after hearing what she had to stay.

"Look, I'm sorry, but she was adopted this morning. I can't help you." She explained again.

"How was she adopted that fast? You took her yesterday." I questioned.

"She's a cute little kid and a young couple adopted her. Who wouldn't love her?" She asked.

"Well can we get an address, a name, something?" Dean asked angrily.

"I can give you a name but no address. That's classified." She responded. She didn't seem to care in the slightest.

"We'll take it." She handed us a piece of paper with the names of the people who took her, I told her thanks for her time, and we left. We climbed back into the impala. Dean didn't start driving though. We sat in the parking lot for a moment.

"What do we do now?" He asked with a deep sadness present in his voice.

"We go back to the bunker and I do everything in my power to find this family. I won't stop until I find them." I answered. He just nodded but still didn't start the car. "Dean? What's wrong?" I asked. He kept looking out his window. He turned to look at me with tears in his eyes.

"It's my fault." He mumbled.

"No it's not, Dean. We couldn't do anything." I consoled.

"I promised her I'd never leave her, I didn't find her a safer place to stay, and I didn't find her someone better to watch her. She's gone and I basically abandoned her. It's my fault." He had so much guilt even though he had no control over any of this.

"Dean." I started as I placed a hand on his shoulder. "It's not your fault. You didn't abandon her, Cas is the best person to watch her, and the bunker is the safest place. Cas didn't say she was at the bunker when she showed up. Maybe they went to get food or something. He didn't explain and that's beside the point. No one knows where the bunker is so its the safest. Her being taken is not in your control. I'm gonna search until I find her." I added. He nodded slightly then started the car and drove back to the bunker. I instantly sat at one of the tables and got to work. I spent every waking moment on the laptop trying to find her.

I spent a good week and a half searching before I was gonna call it quits. I didn't want to give up, I just wanted a break. I searched every database I could think of, Facebook, Twitter, all social media sites, sheriff databases, everything, but no one came up with the names she gave us. They wanted themselves hidden. "Dean, I gotta call it. I can't find her." I spoke up one night.

"No. No. Sam, you can't give up on her. Not yet." He started angrily.

"Dean, I can't, I-"

"Don't stop. Please. If you won't keep searching for her, do it for me. Please." He begged as tears started to fall. I sighed, gave him a nod, and went back to work. I dug and dug for days more through the police database. I hardly slept.

"Dean, I'm exhausted." I started as I rested my head on my hands. "I can't keep searching like this. Hours on end. It's taking a toll." I told him after my 3rd week of searching.

"Then let me search. You can go to bed." He suggested.

"Dean, one wrong move in the police database and we're toast. I'll do it. Can you get me another cup of coffee though?" I asked as politely as possible. He brought it to me and I kept typing away.

~Dean's POV~

I hated seeing Sam like this-so defeated and exhausted. We'd had late nights from hunts before, but this was only 3-4 hours a night max for 3 weeks. I felt bad that I was pressuring him so much. I hadn't realized what I was doing to him until I saw his face as he occasionally glanced at me and looked up so he could refocus his eyes. He looked almost pale and his face overall looked weakened and sickly.

I walked up to him and gently shut the laptop. He looked at me confused and with bloodshot eyes. "Sam, I'm sorry. I'm just so worked up about Hannah and I just want her back. I've been pushing you to your breaking point. Don't worry about finding her tonight. Let's just go to bed." I suggested.

"It's ok, Dean. I think I'm close. I think I found them I just have to cross-check with one other site and I'll be able to confirm it." Sam replied. He did some more clicking. "Yep. I definitely found them. They're on Kansas street. They aren't too far. We can head out tomorrow." Sam spoke up.

"Sounds good." I replied. Sam shut the laptop and nearly fell over from exhaustion. I walked with him to his room in case he passed out. We were almost to his room when he did. I barely caught him before he hit the floor. I had to carry him the rest of the way. I got him in bed with a struggle and a weird memory came over me.

Sammy and I were younger, just little kids and dad was gone once again. Sam tried to stay up all night until dad came home, but fell asleep on the couch because his body couldn't handle it. I looked out for him all the time when I was that age. He was a scared little kid thrown into dad and I's mess. I carried him to bed that night and tucked him in. He woke up in the morning and although he was sad that dad hadn't come home, he seemed to love that he had me there. He told me he was happy I was there with him. I hadn't felt that in a long time from him- that he really appreciated me being there and wanting me there. I hoped that I would get up in the morning and I could feel that all over again- the feeling of being wanted and appreciated. It's not that I doubted he cared about and loved me, but that I wanted to know that even when things sucked, we were both happy we had each other. I walked back to my room and went to sleep.