Requested by 77jadyn
~~~Jordan's POV~~~
I think I am afraid to be happy because whenever I do something bad happens. I started Youtube and look at what happens everyday people telling me to kill myself constantly and that I need to lose weight something I already know.
No one knows how bad their words could affect someone. That's until that person is lying in their coffin. That's when all the pain and guilt boils up inside them causing them to become the next victim of the demons that lurk inside everyone's mind.
"Jordan are you okay?" I shrugged.
Sometimes I don't tell people what's wrong because most of the time they're just being curious and truly don't care, but that's not the case with Bryan and Jeydon. I choose not to tell them because I don't want them to worry about me. Why should they worry about someone like me? I'll be a burden in their lives, and I don't want that.
"You don't seem like it," Bryan said as he mutes the television.
"I'm fine," I lied.
They didn't believe it. I used to hide my emotion well but that soon changed when I started to receive more hate, so I give up entirely. I don't try to hide it anymore and if anyone was to ask
I'll lie as I did to Bryan and Jeydon.
"You're not fine what's the matter?" Jeydon asked.
"I don't want to talk about it,"
I can already feel the tears that were starting to form. If I didn't get out of here, I knew I would break down. I got up and ran up to the room shutting and locking the door behind me.
I walked over to the corner and slid down the wall bringing my knees up to my chest. I buried my head into my knees wanting to do nothing but to scream.
"Jordan opens the door," Jeydon said as he lightly tapped on the door.
"Go away!"
"Bryan and I just want to talk,"
"Jeydon I don't want to talk right now,"
"Joran, please open the door," I stayed quiet and tried to ignore the constant tabbing. I covered my ears and closed my eye which was helping.
"Go away!" I screamed.
"Go the fück away!" My heart pounded against my chest, and my head was starting to spin.
The tapping stopped, and I could hear the sound of their feet hitting the floor as they made their way down the stairs. I took a deep breath and buried my head in my knees. I heard the sound of the door being unlocked and the sound of their footsteps making their way toward me.
"I'm sorry," I mumbled, I felt a hand being placed on my back. I didn't care who it was as I leaned on them and they wrapped their arms around me.
"Everything is going to be okay Bryan, and I are here for you," Jeydon said if only they knew that I'd be nothing but a burden to them.
"I-it's not going to be okay," I whispered.
"Help me get him over to the bed Bryan,"
Bryan wrapped his arm around my other side and helped carry me over to the bed. They gently laid me down, and I instantly curled up in a ball hugging my knees to my chest.
"I'm sorry," I whispered.
"It's okay Jordan. Just know that Bryan and I are always here. We care about you dude,"
