poems

asshole #1

its been years,

should i really find you after all the tears?

you've never been here,

but it turns out you are so near

i have so many things to ask,

asking has never been an easy task

you never tried,

do you know how many times I've cried?

looking for someone who was never there,

wanting to meet you soon became rare

i prayed for you every birthday and Christmas for you to be here,

but after a few years you never being there became clear

i gave up,

i became tough

i said you were dead,

at first the thought filled me with dread

i told people you were gone,

so i could try and feel like i belong

finding out how near you are,

that you are not far

hurt,

it made me feel like dirt

i cant believe after years i know where you are,

i know you are not that far

after saying your gone,

for so long

do i want to be hurt by you once more?

as it was my heart you tore

since finding out, i cant work out,

whether to cry, scream or shout

its strange,

im not sure if there is something i want to arrange