A Criminal Minds / Demily Fanfiction: Blast From The Past

Chapter 26

Emily's Pov

   The memories came flooding back to me, and it all felt so real. They were all of Lauren, or at least most of them were. I missed what we used to have; we used to talk about pretty much everything and we were so close. She didn't know who I really was, but that didn't matter; she loved me just the same; and I loved her. I always had.

   The particular memory that was playing through my mind at the moment was from when Dan and I had just announced our engagement. It was only to a few people, including Mel and Lauren. Mel and I got along just fine; there was never any hostility between us, and all three of us wanted was what was best for Lauren. Anyway, the night we told them of our engagement, I remember Lauren coming up to me and asking me if I was going to be her other mammy. I said I was; her reaction was to throw her arms around me and to give me the biggest and tightest hug she could. Of course, afterwards, she told me that she didn't want to call me mammy, because it might upset her real mammy. At that moment, my heart shattered into a million tiny, little pieces. I was so happy, and yet I wanted to cry. I was her real mom, and to hear he say those words to me meant that although she had accepted me as part of the family, I would never be the one that she called 'mom'.

   Another memory flashed into view. I was twenty and being rushed to hospital by my roommate from college because I was in labour. I kept telling her to drive faster or I would give birth in her car; the thought of that happening terrified her just enough so that she did drive faster. 

   Once we had arrived at the hospital, I begged her to stay with me. I didn't have anyone else; my mother would have most likely disowned me if she knew I had once again gone against my faith and become pregnant. I never told her, not to this day, and now I wish that maybe I had. If I had, then perhaps she could have been here for Lauren. I was in labour for eight hours before I gave birth to the most beautiful baby girl. She was just so small and precious. She was perfect. I couldn't decide on a name; I had two in mind, but couldn't choose between them. In the end I chose Lauren Rebecca. Giving her up was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but I wasn't ready to be a mom and there was no way I could afford to raise a baby on my own. Her dad had done a disappearing act as soon as I told him I was pregnant; I never heard from him again. 

   I had chosen a really nice couple to raise my daughter; she was a lawyer and he was a professor of English Literature. I knew that they would take good care of her and that they would be there for her, like I was unable to be.

   Flash forward six years. I was twenty-six and although I was on the right career path, I felt as though something was missing. It was obvious to me that the feeling of loss was because of Lauren. I had missed out on so much; her first steps, her first word and her first day of school. I decided that I wanted to find her, not to be a part of her life, but just to see her. I wanted closure, I guess.

   Because I chose the couple who would adopt Lauren, I knew their names and I tracked them down. Maybe I shouldn't have, but I did and I'm glad I did. At the time only the father, Daniel Stone was living in DC; I didn't know this until I made an excuse to talk to him in a coffee shop. He told me all about his wife Melanie and how they had recently split and she and their daughter, Lauren were still in London.

   I told him nothing of myself other than a few stories about my mother. He was nice though, and quite charming. We seemed to click straight away and there were definitely sparks in the air. It wasn't until four months later when I finally got to see my daughter. She was exactly how I had imagined her to be. Of course, neither Daniel nor Melanie knew that I was actually the woman who had given birth to their daughter.

   After they came back to the states, Daniel introduced me to them both and I knew; I knew that there was nothing that could pull me away from her ever again. And the fact that I had fallen for Daniel helped me to stick around too.