Hopeful

~Chapter 13~

Louis' pov

I came home with Eleanor after we went on our 'date'. We came back to my house and went into the bedroom so Eleanor could get her stuff. Little did I know she had other plans. I was looking around the closet for a nice outfit because I was going to take Harry out for dinner. "Hey Louis." I turn around and Eleanor's lips collide with mine.

I widen my eyes in surprise and she pulls back. "What's wrong babe?" She looks at me oddly. "What was that?" She chuckles at me. "It's called a kiss, but you probably don't get good ones, dating that loser." She laughs at herself and I get angry.

"What did you just say about Harry?" I ask through gritted teeth. The laughter dies and her eyes lose the light when she sees me angry. She then puts a little smirk on her face. "I'm saying, I probably kiss better than that loser does." I push her back on the bed and she pulls me down with her and she kisses me again.

I try to pull back but she puts her hands behind my neck and pulls me closer to her. I decide to cave in and let her do what she wants. She takes her shirt off and pulls mine off with her. We get under the covers and I see her sit up on the end of the bed and unclip her bra. She tosses it to the floor and gets back in bed. I look down as she grabs my hand and guides it to one of her breasts and places my hand on her left breast.

The thought of this happening at the moment made me want to gag, because seeing a women's breasts was the last thing I wanted to see in my life. I squeeze her breast in disgust and she smiles at me. "So, you actually like it?" She smirks at me and I flash her a fake smile. "Yeah."

She smiles and starts to kiss me again while unbuckling my belt and taking of my jeans. I feel so wrong for doing this. Harry would never forgive me if he found out I was having sex with El. She pulls my pants down, but allows me to keep my boxers on.

A couple minutes later, she is about to pull my boxers off, when someone walks in the room. "Hey Lou, I got us matching neck-" I look up and all the colour drains from my face. My eyes start to well up with tears. "Ha-Hazza, I thought you weren't coming home til 4?" I see a tear fall down his cheek. "I-I... I got off early... for you." I open my mouth to respond when he snaps. "But it doesn't matter now, does it?! Seems like you found someone better!"

He proceeds to stomp out the room when I bolt out of bed and turn him around. "Harry, please let me explain." I then feel a stinging sensation on my cheek because he slapped me.

"I'm done with your stupid fucking games Louis! My heart's already breaking, go on twist the knife. Break it even more. You cheated, like actually cheated this time. I thought she was your beard, but I can tell your 'relationship' is stronger than I thought. I thought your 'beard' was just for publicity so people wouldn't know about our relationship, but you must really fucking hate me to cheat on me, going out every Tuesday and Friday to fuck her. And not having the decency to tell me you actually aren't gay, makes me even more mad. Goodbye Louis. Keep the house, I'm going to live with Liam. I'm moving out tomorrow."

And with that he walked out of the house. I dropped to my knees and started sobbing. I feel Eleanor come up behind me Louis. "Serves him right, you deserve someone better, someone like me." She looks at me and smiles. "This is all your fucking fault! I hate you! Why did they have to hire you of all people! You are the worst person I have ever met!" She looks at me and frowns and opens her mouth to respond but I hold my hand up to stop her. "Don't. Don't talk to me." I walk past her and lock myself in my bedroom and just let the tears flow out.

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I'm sitting in the couch when I hear the front door open and I see Harry walk in. "Ohmygosh Harry-who's this?" I see a young girl walk in behind him. "I met her at the pub and I'm going to be staying with her and her girlfriend." I look at him with hurt and shock. "But you just met her. Are you really going to live with her? What if she just wants to fuck you?" I see the anger well up in his eyes. "She has a girlfriend, so please stop thinking she wants to fuck me!" I look down and he asks her, "Will you help me pack?" She nods her head and walks past me, glaring at me.

"I'm sorry Hazza." I try to apologize but I can see that he is still unconvinced. "I'm done with your fucking fake apologies Louis!" He turns and stomps into the room we shared. "Wow, he must really be a dick." I hear him chuckle. "You have no idea how amazing he was before all this." And with that I break down.

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He walks out with the girl and Eleanor comes over and starts to kiss me. I hear the door open and see Harry standing there again. I see him roll his eyes. "Has anyone seen my phone?" I get up and walk over to him and pull him into a hug. He shifts uncomfortably and asks, "Uhh, Lou? What are you doing?" I look at his green eyes that remind me of emeralds.

"I'm sorry Hazza. I love you and I really hate myself for doing what I did-" Eleanor then speaks over me. "No he doesn't, you should of heard the way he was screaming my name." I let go of Harry and glare at her. "What the hell Eleanor?" She just shrugs her shoulders and Harry walks past me to my bedroom. Before he could close the door, I slip in and close it behind me. He looks at me and sighs. "What do you want Louis?" I look at him for a spark in his eyes. "I want you to forgive me. If I didn't love you, would I be kissing you like this?" I push my lips into his and he pulls back. I feel myself frown. "I don't know what to believe anymore Louis." He then walks over to the dresser finding his phone and leaves. I sit down on the bed and break down. "Why did I do that? Why did I let her control me? I hate myself." I get up and walk to the bathroom. I get into the medicine cabinet and take out some sleeping pills and pop 5 in my mouth and pull out some of Eleanor's shaving razors, for they aren't on the thingy ma-bob it clips to. I proceed to make 6 cuts on each wrist. I feel the cold metal cut and tear my skin.

Before you know it, I'm done with both wrists and grab towels and wrap them around my wrists while grabbing some bandages. "I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself." I murmur to myself before I pass out on the bathroom floor.