Loud

Chapter 48

Guys, it my birthday!! Woohoo for being 17! Anywho here is the chapter which is back in Andy's POV but no she is not back, not yet at least so here you go enjoy

Andy's POV

The streets of New York City are busy, even at night. There's always people needing to go somewhere or needing to see someone, some more anxious then others and some who just don't seem to care at all. I observe them all from my window in my apartment which is spacious and quite, something I've been needing.

I observe a family as the mother scolds her child for something while the child laughs because the father won't take the mother seriously and I quietly chuckle at the scene because that would defiantly be Harry and I.

Harry crosses my mind every now and then but for the most part I try to block that part out of my life. It's not that I hate him or that I want to forget him but when I made the choice to leave him with a letter and leave it was for good. It was for him to move on and have a happy future with Sam and I knew if I was there that wouldn't be the case. It was also a chance for me to start something new, experience things I hadn't before, like making friends and focusing on myself.

The buzzer of my apartment rings and I look away from the beautiful scene of busy New York and walk towards the door which I open and smile at Josh my neighbour "Hi Josh" he looks at me and smiles "Hey Andy, your mail somehow made its way into mine, again" and I chuckle "Thanks Josh, I'll be sure to let Pete know that he keeps doing it" Josh smile at me and nods "Alright well see you around" and I smile at him and close the door.

Josh was my neighbour who was very welcoming, and so was wife. I sometimes babysitted for them when Josh had an opening at his gallery and his wife, Lexi wanted to attend as well or if they just wanted to have some time alone together.

I look down at the envelope which is quit fancy and formal and for a moment I am confused. That was until I opened the letter and pull out the invitation with my name on the top

'You, Andy Thompson are formally invited to attend the wedding of Harry Styles and Sam-'

I stopped reading it after that and I looked back out the window of my New York apartment just wishing that Josh had just kept the letter.

He would have known I couldn't be there. That watching him say I do to her would absolutely tear me apart, then watching them kiss to seal their marriage would bring tears to my eyes. I said it's a cold universe and I don't mean that metaphorically. If you go out into space, it's cold. It's really cold and we don't know what's up there. We happen to be in this little pocket where there's a sun. What have we got except love and each other to guard against all that isolation and loneliness?

But I think that I would much more prefer to be alone in this apartment then watch someone walk down the aisle with any that wasn't me. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. And Harry and I know both know that if I were to sit in the crowd and he saw me that he wouldn't get married that day, and not to run off with me or to hurt Sam but because he would cheat himself out of that chance of pure happiness.

I pick up my phone and dial a number I thought I would never use and the only reason I had it was in case of emergencies. I hear the dial tone ring and ring and at this point I don't couldn't care about the cost I'm going to have to pay for an international call. It dials and dials until "Andy, I knew you would call" and she has some nerve "Why would you send me that, and don't play dumb, we both know he wouldn't have sent it to me" I hear her breathing on the other side of the phone "I know you think I sent it to you to gloat or rub it in your face but I didn't" I don't speak so she continues "You're right, he wouldn't have sent you one and that's wrong. He wants you there he just won't say it because he doesn't want to hurt me or himself or fucking you but Andy I don't think he would marry me that day if you didn't go" I stop her "You think by me going he will marry you? That makes no sense" I hear her breathing, that's all I hear "He needs to know you don't hate him for doing this" that shut's me up, how could he think I could ever hate him "That fucking letter haunts us, he keeps reading it over and over again. He thinks I don't see him or that I don't know but I read it, and it takes everything in me not to fucking tear it up but that would hurt him so I don't" I sigh "What do you want from me Sam" she takes a dramatic breath in "Come to the wedding Andy, not for me but for him, he needs it" I think she's about to hang up but she doesn't "I would like that when I'm officially married to him that it's no longer a fucking three person relationship" and the line goes dead.

I stand at the window again watching the people walk, run and rife by bellow me and I'm envious at the simplicity they seem to all carry while all I carry is a burnt out love, an angry girlfriend, a blonde Irish man who has found a new girl who I'm so happy for and a fucking invitation to a wedding that is all of a sudden the only thing that is in my mind.

Am I in love with this boy, I ask myself this question every spare second I get because if it was true fucking love and such a great love or an 'epic' love like Harry once said then why the fuck is all this happening. I hate to dwell on him, I left with the thought of moving on but fucking Sam sent me that invitation and now he's back and he doesn't even know about it.

I scream. I just let out a loud scream, pick up the vase on the table beside me and throw it. It smashes into pieces as it hit the wall, I kick a chair, I slam my hand into a wall I scream and I don't know where all this anger came from. But I just can't seem to stop destroying everything I see, how fucking romantic.

I look at the invitation that is till clutched in my hand and my breathing is fast and hard and I walk to the bin and I stop debating for a second.

The secret to a happy marriage is if you can be at peace with someone within four walls, if you are content because the one you love is near to you, either upstairs or downstairs, or in the same room, and you feel that warmth that you don't find very often, then that is what love is all about.

So I watch as the invitation falls into the bin and I walk away, leaving the angered mess I created behind.

I need you guys to comment how much longer you would like this book to go on and what you like to see at the end of it because I have so many idea's and I would love to hear what you guys want to see so just chuck as a lil comment and I'll read them and tell you which are my favourite!!

As always comment and vote guys!! xx