Loud

Chapter 10

Harry POV

I wonder what colour signifies rage or anger, I imagine it to be red and lately there's just been so much red. Looking at Andy, my beautiful but fragile Andy i see red because im mad, im so mad and im tired of being mad but it just wont go away. Having sex with her made it worse, i couldn't help but think of his hands over her, in places that i was touching. She was so clean and now, now she's just so very dirty and i love her more then i know how to deal with but i look at her and i see red.

"Harry, baby what's wrong? Are you okay?" and i need her to stop asking me if im okay because im mad, im so mad "Nothing" "Come on Harry, talk to me" and how i wish i could but my beautiful and fragile Andy i see red because im mad, im so mad and im tired of being mad but it just wont go away "Just tired" and she sighs "Harry, i love you" and so much red flashes that i can barely see straight and i snap "Don't, don't you even fucking dare" i look at her and i see red and she see's the darkest shade of brown in my eye's because im mad, im so mad "Cleaning a fucking room, saying sorry and i love you's isn't going to fix the mess! It's not going to make it all go away so stop acting like you can sweep up your problems and don't pretend you don't see blue eye's and blonde hair!" and she seem's surprised that i brung him up because we both know she was never going to "Harry, let's just sleep yeah? You're tired baby, let's sleep" and i wish she would scream, that she would hit me, that she would do anything "How can you be so cold, how can you do nothing! Scream at me, hit me, cry, punch a whole in the wall, act like this fucking bothers you, don't try to sleep away all the problems Andy because we both know when we wake up, they're all still there!" my breathing is heavy and loud and red is everywhere and i can see she's surprised but all she does is sigh, she should have fucking said something but she didnt and it's like she read my mind because she says "Please don't go again Harry, please"

It's like my mind is at war between good and evil, i stand staring at Andy while my head is fighting the battle and im still seeing red, so like always evil wins and im walking towards the door. I hear little feet come after me "No Harry please don't, don't do this again, stay don't leave me" she grabs my torso from behind and i stop because how could i not "You were gone for too long Harry, you're home again, you don't want to just leave again, please i love you" and i hear the desperation in her voice and God do i pity her, but im so in love and there's a war in my head and im seeing red "You know i love you right" and as the words fall from my mouth she breaks down, just like i had asked her to minutes ago and im so in love with this broken but beautiful girl.

"I waited for you, i didn't lock the door incase you came home you wouldn't have trouble getting in, i still set a place for you at the table, this is not being a man Harry, be a man Harry. Don't run away, stay and just be in love" and i stare at her because i'm not being a man and im such a hypocrit and i wonder if the lipstick stain has come out because the purple marks that were carved into her skin have faded. I hear the desperation in her voice and God do i pity her, but im so in love and there's a war in my head and im seeing red but im too in love to go right now "Let's go to bed" and she sighs with relief, i take her hand and we go to bed and she wraps herself around me like in a second i might change my mind. I feel her cold breathe on my naked chest "Harry, i love you" and God do i love her too "Baby if i could love you anymore it would kill me" and we fall asleep knowing very well that cleaning a fucking room, saying sorry and i love you's isn't going to fix the mess, It's not going to make it all go away. 

We work, I swear we work.

Andy's POV

His brown eye's showed pity and God did i hate pity but he stayed and thats all iv ever wanted. Harry humm's to himself quietly while he eats his breakfast, he has a beautiful voice, everything about him is beautiful, down to the last drop of his substance and he stayed so God was he beautiful. "We're running low on food baby" and suddenly i feel sick, sick to my stomach "I'll go out today and get some things today" i really didn't want to go out today "No, it's okay i'll go" and im thankful but terrified because what if he doesn't come back "I'll be back don't worry" it's like he could read my mind but i feel too sick to care at this point "Okay" and he puts on his shoes and kisses me on his way out. 

I hear a knock at the door and i wonder to God who the hell it could be. I open the door and my breathe stops in my throat and for a second i think im seeing things "Niall" and he sadly smiles at me but i can't let him in, Harry came home and he shouldn't be here "Hi" "You shouldn't be here" he sighs "I know" "I can't let you in" again he sighs "I know" so i step outside and take a walk with blue eye's and blonde hair because he's in love and Harry punched him, how could i not.

"Im sorry" I knew eventually someone would have to say it "I know, it isn't your fault" "Yes it is, i never should have done this with you, you don't deserve to be brought into such a mess" we walk in silence and i know he's thinking about what to say next "I don't mind, out of all of this i met a beautiful but sad girl who's in love and made me fall head over heels for her, i couldn't be happier that I, just a normal Irish lad had the privilge of having his heart broken by you, Andy Moore" and Andy laughs because the blue eye'd blonde haired boy is so sweet and in love so how could she not "I don't want you to not be in my life Andy" and he's sad, so sad "I know, but Harry came home" and he sighs "It doesn't work Andy" "Yes it does, we work, i swear we work" Niall stops and grabs my face between his hands "The fact you have to keep reminding yourself of that, proves it doesn't" and she sighs "Im in love" "I know, so am i" and I wish with everything i had that he wasn't because Harry is home and she broke his heart "Im not giving up you know" and she knows, she does know because he's in love and a man in love will do absolutley anything "I know". And she walks away from the boy with blue eye's and blonde hair with images of green eye's she missed so much and brown hair in her mind, but she knows that she will see Niall again.

As she walk through the door of her home she knows Harry's home, it feels warmer then usual but she's still cold and she doesn't know why. Harry is sitting on the couch watching a pointless movie that he is probably over anaylising because he always does and i sit next to him and cuddle into his side and stare at his beautiful face, God was he beautiful "You're beautiful" i say and he looks at me and smiles "And you're sad and reek of loneliness and disapointment but my God are you beautiful"

We work, I swear we work.

FINALLY HERE IS THE NEXT CHAPTER!! SORRY ABOUT THE UPDATES BEING A LITTLE SLOW, I HAVE BEEN HAVING SOME MAJOR WRITNG BLOCK! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and as usual leave comments and vote thanks byeeee!!!!! xx