For Better or For Worse (Book 2)

Never Forgive Never Forget

We are never ever getting back together.
—Taylor Swift

He didn't understand what he had done to me, the extent to which he'd hurt me, but he would by the time my vicious yelling had ceased.

"I HATE YOU!" I shouted at him, all of my anger balled together in my clenched fists. It took all of my willpower not to rain punches on that irritatingly gorgeous face of his.

"I HATE YOU AND I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN! I WISH YOU HAD GONE AWAY TO BOARDING SCHOOL! I WANT YOU OUT OF MY LIFE NOW! FOREVER, SHAWN AND DAMN IT IF YOU DARE TO COME BACK!" And then my voice lowered just a little to add cruel effect. "Damn, Shawn, you're a lot more like your father than I thought. I've only ever been hurt like this by that beer bottle he threw at me."

Words I couldn't take back.
Words that slapped him across the face like a leather whip.
Words that I didn't even regret.

My heart ached like it never had before, my insides boiling, ready to explode like a volcano been dormant for centuries.

Shawn stood there, a look of such shameful hurt on his face. I never could've believed that I'd be happy to see him like this, but my heart leapt with triumph, with satisfaction that I'd never experienced before.

Shawn turned to leave, but I couldn't bare to give him the last exit.

So instead, I did myself justice and allowed myself to be the one to push passed him and walk out the door.

To walk out of his life, my head held high, my eyes bright with a satisfaction that was sure to be gone the second he was out of sight.

And boy was I right.

I refused to look back, refused to fall under his spell, to be lured back in by that smile, by those eyes.

I wouldn't let him do this to me again. I didn't want any of it. Any of him. I'd never forget what he had put me through, what w was about to put me through. I wouldn't forgive him for his selfish act of betrayal.

But when I crashed into my bedroom and stumbled onto my bed, tears replacing the look of triumph in my eyes, I knew I'd never forgive myself for letting him do this do me, for letting him crawl into my heart and snake his way into my brain.

I'd never forgive myself for falling in love with such a selfish bastard.