For Better or For Worse (Book 2)

I Said Go Away!

Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you....
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away, But I know this crush ain't goin' away. Goin' away!
—David Archuleta

"There's a thin line between hoping and believing, thin line between sleeping and dreaming, thin line between paying dues and losing every bring that ever mattered to you!!!"

Patent Pending blares in my ears and I turn the volume up, squeezing my eyes shut and trying to drown out the world and every horrible thing along with it.

"THIS SUCKS!" I scream, chucking my stereo across the room. It smashes against the wall and falls to the ground in a tattered mess of shattered pieces.

I sob into my pillow, pounding my fists into the bed. "I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME SHAWN MENDES!" I shriek at nothing in particular, needing something to take my anger out on.

I am seeing Shawn for the first time in a long time today, having not paid him any mind over the summer. I managed to successfully ignore him completely, but I know seeing him is inevitable sooner or later.

The first day of school can't get any worse.

"Skyler, we're going to be late!" Tyler shouts, his voice once again reminding me that Shawn doesn't live with me anymore.

He moved out (more like kicked out...by me) and has moved into an apartment with Aaliyah, which I knew is tough on him.

But he deserves it.

I see Aaliyah when I can, knowing she needs me and I can't take Shawn's mistakes out on the little one.

But today. Today is going to be difficult. Extremely difficult. And that's why I called Tyler to pick Cam, Sierra and I up. Helping the Dallas's unpack yesterday was the most fun I've had in a REALLY long time and I'm glad Tyler and Zac dragged me into doing it. Hopefully, the teens will be a help in taking my mind off Shawn, who has a way of popping into my head unexpectedly wherever I go.

Reluctantly, I crawl off my bed and trot down the stairs, my backpack hanging off one shoulder.

"Tyler, can I please be sick?" I mutter, my eyes stinging with invisible tears.

"You have to face him, as hard as that's gonna be. By I'll be by your side if you want."

I let out a sob, half pain of seeing Shawn, half happiness for having Tyler around. "Thanks, Tyler," I said, taking his hand in mine. "Let's go, okay? I can do this."

Highly unlikely.

*****

Of course, the first glimpse I catch of him is unforgettably dreadful. He's pressed to the lockers, his little toy drowning herself in his lips.

"Ew." I spit, my stomach clenching. "Do they have to do that in public?"

Tyler's head snaps to attention. "What? Where?" And then his blue eyes land on the two of them and his face contorts in disgust. "What a jerk, he doesn't deserve you, Sky."

My heart stops dead. That's the first time I've ever heard Tyler call me Sky and as much as it pains me to admit it, I don't like it.

Sky is Shawn's nickname for me, his special connection to me. Tyler never called me that when I was with Shawn.

But as Tyler smiles at me and says, "Can I call you that? It sounds so personal," I realize I can't let him stick with me. I have to completely let him go.

And this is a good place to start.

"Absolutely," I seethe, my teeth clenched. And it feels good to let it all slip away.