Pheromones, yanderes, and lemons. Oh my!

Chapter Twenty-Four

Mira's POV

I entered the guildhall, merrily humming to myself. "Good morning~!" I called to the few people already there.

"How do you do it, Mira?" Lucy asked, leaning against the counter.

"Do what?"

"Be so cheerful."

"Well...it's not easy, especially with everyone being so pouty right now." I giggled.

"We're not 'being pouty', Mira-nee. Fairy Tail just isn't meant to be this quiet." Lisanna slumped forward next to Lucy.

"Hmm, that's true...Gray~!" I called over to the ice Mage.

"What?"

"Well, put on some clothes on first, but I need you to come here."

"What is it?"

"Could you cause a ruckus please?"

"Um, what?" Lucy asked as everyone sweatdropped.

"It's too quiet, so he needs to cause a ruckus."

"Um, Mira-nee....he has no one to ruckus with."

I waved at Elfman, who was sitting at the far end of the bar, and at Gajeel, who was sulking in his corner. "They're here, fight them."

"How about...no."

"C'mon, you guys are all being depressing! Let's have some excitement in here!" My usual pump-em-up tactics failed miserably. Just then, Levy walked in. Yeeeeeees, the second target has arrived.

"Mira?"

Operation Gajevy: Commence. I repeat, Operation Gajevy may now commence.

"Mira." I blinked and realized Gray was waving his hand in front of my face. "Hello?"

"Huh? What's wrong?"

"You were giggling kind of...crazy..."

"Was I?" I tilted my head and gave a sweet smile.

"Mira, I know you don't normally listen to us when we say this, but...don't try matchmaking right now, please." Lucy leaned across the table and murmured to me.

I must have looked surprised, because Lisanna leaned forward too. "You had your Matchmaker face on." She explained.

"I have a-?"

"Yes you do." Lucy interrupted. I'll have to fix that... "Anyway Mira, seriously," She continued, "Levy's really upset right now, so please, please, please don't try anything."

"That's just proof that she cares~." I swooned. The group sweatdropped again.

"Huh? Gray?" We turned to see the Solid Script Mage approaching. "Weren't you supposed to help the others?"

"I offered, but Erza didn't think it was a good idea for me to be on the same ship as Natsu." Gray unconsciously rubbed his arm where a slight pink crescent shape was visible. "The dragon slayers are fuckin' crazy."

"Yeah..." Levy answered in a small voice, looking down sadly. I thought I saw Gajeel twitch in my peripheral vision.

What is he doing?! I glared at Gray fiercely and he looked both confused and very scared. As he should be... Lucy hastily changed the subject to books, but Levy still remained uncharastically quiet. Wait, idea!

"Oh, you just reminded me, Lucy!" I reached under the bar and pulled out a sheaf of paper. "Master gave me a list of chores to do while he's away." There was a collective groan. I gave a cold smile in response and let a dark aura surround me. "Are you saying I should clean this whole place by myself?"

"N-no, ma'am."

"Good." I giggled and began assigning jobs. "Lucy and Levy, you two can organize the library. Lisanna, if you could wipe down the tables, I'd appreciate it. Wakaba and Macao, you can tidy up the upstairs. Please make sure to change the sheets in the infirmary. Romeo, if you could please make a list of all the medical supplies." I handed him a blank sheet of paper and a pen. "Elfman and Gray, please clean up the wine cellar. When that's done, you can help Wakaba and Macao."

"Moving barrels is MAN!"

"And you two...please restock the kitchen." I turned to Jet and Droy, handing them the shopping list and some money. "Get started, everyone!" I called.

"What about him?" Droy nervously gestured to Gajeel.

"Um..." I pretended to consult my list. "Well, I guess he'll have to help me."

"R-right. We'll be going then." The larger Mage pulled Jet out of the guildhouse, noticing how his teammate had stiffened at the slayer's name. Everyone else hastily scattered, Lucy and Lisanna shooting me suspicious looks, which I ignored.

"So, what the hell am I doin'?" Mr. Grumpy Face asked.

"We're cleaning the kitchen." I replied happily.

"Yippee." He mumbled real sarcastically. Begin Phase One! I smirked internally.

-one hour time skip-

Finally! I slammed open the door to the library and stormed in, completely Satan Soul, dragging Gajeel by the hair.

"M-M-M-Mira?!" Lucy stuttered in complete panic, dropping a couple of books.

"Levy, I'm going to have to trade you." I snarled.

"Wh-what?!" The blue-haired girl's eyes widened.

Gajeel thrashed around. "Get offa me!" He tried to transform into his scales and I twisted my wrist and yanked hard on his mane, causing him to howl.

"Shut up!!"I screamed back. "This is what you get for eating the dishes!!" I tossed him into a book pile.

"It was only a couple." He grumbled, picking himself up.

"Only a couple?!" I shrieked, whipping my wings and tail around on agitation.

"M-Mira, it's okay. I'll help you." The blond stammered.

"Thank you, Lucy." I said, but I kept my glare riveted on Gajeel like I wanted to kill him.

"C'mon, Mira-nee. Master'll be furious if the guild gets wrecked again." Lisanna appeared behind me and wrapped her arms around one of mine, tugging me backwards. I allowed myself to be taken out of the room, still pretending to go reluctantly.

When Lucy closed the door, I began ranting about Gajeel very loudly and pulled both girls into the kitchen with me. Once there I transformed back to normal and began doing a silent happy dance.

"Mira....? Are you okay?" Lucy was staring at me like I'd lost my mind.

"Don't tell me...was this part of your plan?" Lisanna asked suddenly.

"Of course~." I stopped twirling and gave them both an evil smirk. "Phase One. And it worked out perfectly~!"

There was a moment of silence as the two girls contemplated my genius. "So...how did you know Gajeel was going to eat the silverware, and thereby give you an excuse to shove him in with Levy-chan?" Lucy asked.

"I didn't. It took him a whole hour to screw up." I complained. "I was actually considering sabotaging something, but luckily his hunger got the best of him!" I continued my happy dance, ignoring the girls apprehensive faces.

On the second floor, five heads cautiously poked over the railing.

"Sh-should we tell Mira we're done?" Gray asked nervously.

The guys shook their heads 'no' frantically. "Bad idea, very bad idea." Wakaba hissed.

"Real men don't interrupt their sisters. Especially if they're mad." Elfman declared. The group slowly backed away from the railing until they couldn't be seen from the floor of the main room.

Alright, Phase Two will commence in the next chapter. I'm excited. This is going to be so fun and awkward to write. Heh heh. >:)